And Along Came a Spider

Some time ago my eleven year-old daughter came home from orchestra practice simply devastated. She had been the first to arrive, and as the others filed in, nobody chose to sit by her. She sat at the edge of the room, the only student with an empty chair at her side.

She felt rejected and alone.

So the next day, as I dropped her off, I encouraged her to hold back and let some of the others sit down first, and then make her choice to sit by someone she’d like to get to know better. “Find someone who might be having a bad day, and BE the one to make a friend.”

I encouraged her to have a prayer in her heart, picturing herself with an abundance of friends, and reminded her that choosing to be positive and confident would help others want to be around her.

So she pulled herself together with an intention that things would be different this time. She agreed to pray in her heart and try to think more positively.

But what happened next surprised us both…

When I picked her up from school, she was excited to report that she ended up right between two girls that she was excited to get to know better.

How did it happen? Not the way we thought it would.

Contrary to my advice, she still showed up earlier than most; and out of habit decided to sit in her regular chair on the edge of the room. As a few of the other students filed in, the pattern threatened to repeat itself.

(That’s the power of subconscious thoughts right there…)

However, just then, she noticed a scary spider on her music stand. Creeped out, she took her folder and tried to push it off.

Instead of successfully getting it out of her space, it fell onto her leg. She jumped up and shook her pants, and wasn’t sure where it ended up. Assuming it was still at her chair, she decided that it would be better to move.

It took her out of her comfort zone and into another chair. One of the girls she’d like to know better came in and sat right next to her. Before long, a second girl took the empty chair at her other side.

Admittedly she said she thought the answer to her prayer would show up in the form of an idea, or an added measure of courage to do or say something uncomfortable.

But no, it showed up as a spider.

This micro-experience captures the essence of how God so often deals with us. When we ask for things to be better, he doesn’t just make things better. He creates conditions in our life that make us get out of our comfort zone and put us somewhere else – somewhere, where the blessing we’re asking for can finally be received.

Sometimes we get moved out of our comfort zone and still fail to receive the blessing. This can happen when our thoughts are not inclined to look for the hidden benefit in our adversity.

It would be like my daughter getting out of her regular chair and into another, and being so upset by it that she doesn’t even notice the potential friendships on either side of her. By her response to the hardship, she could have completely denied herself of the blessing that the change contained.

In that case, the girls that flanked her could have picked up on the downer-energy and might have been inclined to just ignore her.

I’m grateful that she was thoughtful enough to give credit to God for sending a spider, because it prepared the way for her to receive the very thing she was hoping for all along.

My dear reader… What’s your spider? What ugly thing has showed up in your life that’s opposite to what you’ve been praying for?

It’s there for a reason.

(To watch additional clips from this event, click here)

A Hardship is always a blessing in disguise. Pay attention to how it “moves” you.

I’d like to help you make sense (cents) out of your setbacks. Are you ready for a better future? Click here to learn more about the life-changing Mindset Mastery Program. Originally published September 22, 2009

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The Swell in Front of You

Staying in forward motion, even when things look bleak, does more for lining up your success than you realize.

(Don’t forget: If you’re afraid you’ll fall, at least fall forward.)

I like to think of what happens when you’re standing in a still pool of water.  As long as you stand still, nothing happens.  If you take one step forward, it creates a ripple all around you, but even more than that I want you to think about the swell that grows in front of you.

One simple step creates a temporary surge of water right there in front of you.

If your finances feel flat, take a step in the right direction. DO something. MOVE. If the water seems low, lunge forward! Push ahead and watch the water rise. If you move, you can’t help but create a swell; after all, it’s physics! Move forward, and the resources right in front of you will surge. By law, nature responds to your action according to the law of cause and effect. Doors open, teachers appear, funds gather…

The problem is, if you’re like me, quite often you’re too busy looking at the ripples spreading out in all directions (wondering if and when they’ll ever return), to even notice the swell in front of you.

So take a step in the right direction (methinks you already know what it is) and then look for evidence of a swell in your immediate surroundings.

  • Be of service to someone without expectation of repayment, and it creates a swell in that relationship.
  • Read something empowering, and it creates a swell in your outlook on life.
  • Make that phone call, and you gather strength against your fear.
  • Write down that intention with determination, and your faith grows.
  • Invest in yourself, and you create a swell in your confidence that everything is going to work out.

And let me remind you that by the seven laws, what shows up in your life has everything to do with the way you FEEL about your challenges. Taking a step forward always helps you FEEL better, and that feeling can become a catalyst for inviting the unseen help we all depend on to conquer seemingly impossible things.

Every good choice creates a swell, and so it’s your job to just make sure that the swell doesn’t level out again.  The only way to keep it surging is to keep on moving.  If you stop, then (just like when you’re in water) the swell eventually dissipates, and you’re left looking at a flat, motionless environment once again.

It’s a temptation to stand there and wait for someone else to come along and create a swell… but the power is in YOU.

So get moving, do something!  Even if you’re weary, just take one more step.  As long as you keep moving, your momentum will build, and the swell will almost seem to lead the way. Originally published Nov 6, 2009


Let me help you keep your thinking on track during the rough spots. If you’ve already read all of my free ebooks, then take your understanding to the next level with my powerful life-changing trainings. You’ll find some deep discounts on several items through November – click here to check it out!

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When Someone Steps on Your Hair

“Leaning into” your problem is less painful than pretending it doesn’t exist.

One afternoon as I was playing with my kids, my sweet little two year-old stepped on my hair.

The instant I felt the pain, I pulled away to get out from under her little feet. It was my instantaneous reaction, albeit not very smart.

Lesson learned:

When someone steps on your hair, lean in, and gingerly remove them from off your hair before pulling away.

I know, I know… it’s not an experience that most of the people in the world will ever have, but it reminded me of a principle worth mentioning.

When you have pain in your life, financial or otherwise, just don’t panic. Panic leads to instinctive reaction, and instinctive reaction oftens result in more pain overall than is necessary.

Subconscious programs kick in when you’re in “fight or flight” (panic/survival) mode.

The key is to lean into the source of your pain, address it without panic or negative emotion, and handle it with a cool head. You’ll be able to solve your problem and avoid unnecessary suffering.

If the problem is that you’re short on money, don’t retreat from your problems, lean in. Go to the person you owe money to, and talk to them about it with a cool head and with the intention of finding a workable solution. Even if there seems to be no possible way to repay a debt, expressing your intentions and regret can leave you feeling more positive than if you pretend the problem isn’t there.

With a positive mindset, you’ll be more likely to eventually think of new solutions you haven’t yet considered.

So, any time you want to instinctively pull away from a problem (hoping it will go away if you just retreat fast enough), remember the lesson I learned from the two year-old who stepped on my hair.

“What if I can never repay my debts? What if I have to file bankruptcy?”

Keep browsing this blog. You’ll learn how to find your hidden resources, and also how to turn failures into successes.

You can also download my free ebook: Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters

Need a genius solution to a difficult problem? Sign up for Genius Bootcamp – early rate expires soon! Originally published July 4, 2009

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How to Overcome the Fear of Not Being Liked

I’ve spoken to a few audiences in my lifetime, and I’ve experienced that sinking feeling in the pit of the stomach as I’d anticipate standing in front of a room full of strangers, worrying about what they’d think of me and what I had to say. Sometimes I would feel the anxiety for days (or even weeks) before an event.

Thank heavens I hardly ever feel that way anymore. Nobody likes to feel anxious or worried about being around people or giving presentations. It’s not a fun feeling! It can be paralyzing, in fact. But at least in my case, I’ve identified a couple reasons why things got easier:

First of all, there is that “getting used to it” thing. Do something often enough, and the anxiety goes away, eventually. Even the most embarrassing moments can pale over time. (Like the moment when I spontaneously demonstrated my sweet Tari Piring skills at a convention where I spoke with 500 guests. You’re not supposed to do that arm thing with food on the plate, but I was trying to be clever. Naturally my pie flew off the plate in front of the directors’ table, aaaaand that’s all I’m going to say about that. One thing I can say is that the feeling of horror has indeed paled.)

Second of all, aside from practice and time passing, there is something else that can be done to immediately get past that self-conscious oh-my-heck-what-are-people-thinking-about-me-right-now feeling, and it has to do with the way YOU think. It’s a pretty cool trick for feeling more comfortable in social settings, and here’s how it works:

As you probably know, the thoughts and feelings you bring to a social gathering emit a kind of a “vibration” that people pick up on. If you’re cheerful, people like that. They enjoy being with other people that make them feel good. If you feel comfortable, people feel comfortable around you.

But what if you don’t know how to feel comfortable?

When you feel nervous around other people (whether it’s an individual or an audience), DON’T WORRY about whether or not they like you, because if you do, you can unconsciously cause the very thing you want to avoid. To entertain worry puts you into an awkward “negative vibration”, which can be a turnoff to those around you.

Instead, all you have to do is LIKE THEM first.

You can choose to like people—just find something to like about them—and by liking them, you emit a positive vibration that more naturally causes them to mirror the feeling back.

A magnetic personality is not achieved by being super cool, amazingly talented, or having sweet Tari Piring skills. It’s achieved by finding and showing appreciation for the qualities, strengths, and talents in those around you.

Keep this principle alive in your life and you will always have an abundance of friends. Besides, as you’ve probably heard before, what people think about you is really none of your business, and most people are too busy worrying about what other people think of them to be thinking about you, anyway

All of these concerns melt away when you’re focused on building up the people around you, and finding their admirable qualities.

Remember this key idea and you can be confident in a room full of strangers. I’ve been told that you should fuss about the way you look only while you’re preparing to be with people, but the minute you walk out the door, it’s no longer about you. Focus on the people around you and forget about yourself.

“Love your neighbor” (Matthew 22:37-39) is a timeless principle here well applied. Plant good seeds by following this advice, and you’ll more easily reap a harvest of good company (Gal 6:7-8).

Learn more about what your thoughts can do with MINDSET FUNDAMENTALS™ Originally published June 28, 2015

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Life’s Challenges: Friction, or Traction?

Every life challenge offers traction for rapid progress toward your goal. Friction is optional.

Imagine life as a network of cogs and gears, like the inner workings of an old fashioned clock. Each person, each situation, is passing into and out of our lives as though they were fixed onto one of the gears rotating and making contact with our own.

The mechanism is so complex that we cannot diagram it, nor predict with certainty which gears and cogs are at play to affect the interactions we experience.

One thing I know is that each time we set an intention to accomplish something, the governing forces alter the timing and pathways of each of the gears in motion. Each gear is on a track that can be moved in and out of the path of other gears in motion.

At the center of your gear is the axis upon which you rotate—sometimes smoothly, sometimes not. Things run well in the whole scheme of it all when you rotate freely with every engagement of oncoming, spinning gears.

Sometimes, however, after you set a goal, what often shows up is a gear disguised as a challenge that attempts to engage you and send you into a realm where you’d rather not go. So you tighten up your axis and refuse to spin with the oncoming gear.

This causes tremendous friction, and in reality can be much more painful in the long run than loosening the tension at your axis point, allowing the oncoming “challenge” gear to engage with your own, and see where it takes you. You’ll often find that after it spins you in the opposite direction of your goal, it eventually helps you come around to exactly where you need to be in order to receive the GOAL gear that was set in motion toward you when you set the goal in the first place.

The destination resulting from engagement with the unexpected “challenge” or “adversity” gear is rarely apparent when you consent to engage with it. But you can trust that it will move you into position to receive the “goal” gear as it spins its way toward you.

Those who refuse to engage won’t be where they need to be when they need to be there. And then they wonder why their goals never come true.

Related Video: When Success Principles Don’t Work

If you refuse to relax in the face of adversity, not only will you feel the full force and heat of the friction, you’ll eventually lose your ability to engage at all with any gear that comes along to take you there, because refusing to “go with it” strips your gear of the very teeth that allow you to engage in the more desirable gears.

Every gear, apparently good or bad, has the potential to move you along to wherever you decide you want to be. Get a visual image of where you want to end up, and the right gears will come along to get you there. Keep your axis well-oiled, and you’ll find the journey can be a joyful evolving.

It’s only “hard” when you refuse to spin.

Let me help you stay well-oiled for 12 weeks straight, and just see where it takes you. It’s an amazing experience, well worth whatever sacrifice it takes for you to engage. The Mindset Mastery™ course is one of the most powerful gears I can offer you, and you can view it as a good gear because of the knowledge you’ll gain, or as a bad gear because it costs some money. Either way, it is designed to take you where you want to be.

Even the economy is a gear in the machine of life, which will either cause you friction or, if you choose, it can cause TRACTION to bring you to the success you seek. I have experienced both opportunities and continually come to the same conclusion each time.

Your choice. Get started now and be on track for some powerful New Year’s resolutions. Let this upcoming year be your best year ever! Click here for more information about the Mindset Mastery™ Program.Originally published November 25, 2008

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What happens when you’re grateful for EVERYTHING

God is a lawful being. There are absolute causes and effects in his law-governed Universe, and as we learn about and abide his laws, we can expect to enjoy the blessings connected to them.

I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.” (Doctrine and Covenants 82:10)

It was a profound moment for me when I stopped to realize that there’s a reason, a very specific reason for doing every good thing we’ve been taught to do.

“Be grateful” is not just a band-aid to distract you from pain. It is a law, connected to a blessing.

While you may be wondering if it’s even possible to feel grateful for everything, consider this:

Feeling good about your problems activates certain laws of success for happier outcomes. (And who doesn’t want happier outcomes?)

As I’ve said before, when you change how you feel, the nature of your surroundings begins to shift ever so slightly.

Because people can feel your emotions (even if only subconsciously), they respond to you differently when you change the way you feel. The customer service representative deals with you a little more kindly. The other driver lets you merge. The professor is a little more forgiving about your assignment.

“Let a man cease from his sinful thoughts, and all the world will soften toward him, and be ready to help him. Let him put away his weakly and sickly thoughts, and lo! opportunities will spring up on every hand to aid his strong resolves. Let him encourage good thoughts, and no hard fate shall bind him down to wretchedness and shame.” (James Allen, As a Man Thinketh)

Okay, all that’s fine and dandy—just change your thoughts and feelings and everything will go better. But I’m telling you what, it can be nearly impossible sometimes to even want to feel differently about things. I get it. I’ve been there, maybe even more than I haven’t been there.

But it’s okay. Sometimes we really DO need to give ourselves permission to just feel the full scope of sadness, disappointment or even anger that our situation warrants.

But here’s the trick:

Only go there with the plan to let it be temporary. The Law of Rhythm dictates that there must be ebbs and flows, ups and downs, and even sadness FOLLOWED BY HAPPINESS. But you don’t have to fake the shift, and you don’t have to force it. It WILL COME as a gift; your job is to simply hope for it, and allow it to happen. Don’t fight it when it tries to find you.

(Have you noticed? I think it may be trying to find you now…)

So allow yourself to be sad until you’ve felt it completely, but always maintain a hope and expectation that happiness will again eventually follow.

It happens after a change in perspective. You can help it along by first acknowledging the difficult place you’re in, but then as quickly as you’re able, be grateful for it. Lift your eyes and heart upward with hope—relying on the many promises you’ve been given, that your hope is indeed justified. No matter how ugly it is, be grateful.

Here’s the law:

  • This [is] the day [which] the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalms 118:24)
  • In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
  • And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. (Colossians 3:17)
  • And let the peace of God rule in your hearts … and be ye thankful. (Colossians 3:15)
  • O give thanks unto the LORD, for [he is] good: for his mercy [endureth] for ever. (Psalms 107:1)
  • Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing…. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, [and] into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, [and] bless his name. (Psalms 100:1-5)
  •  Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; (Ephesians 5:20)
  • We accept [it] always, and in all places …with all thankfulness. (Acts 24:3)

Here’s the promise:

  • For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life:
  • Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
  • Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted
  • Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  • Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven… (Matthew 5:3-12)
  • All things work together for good to them that love God, (Romans 8:28)

Do you see the Laws of Polarity and Rhythm depicted here? You are PROMISED comfort when you are sad. You are PROMISED resolution when there is difficulty. You are PROMISED a reward when there is injustice. You are promised ALL things will work together for your good if you love God.

How long you stay in pain may depend on how long you think only about the pain.

I’m convinced that God’s servants included so many hopeful verses to get us THINKING hopeful thoughts when we are in our pits of despair. Because, by the Laws of Perpetual Transmutation and Vibration, that is how we begin to move toward the happier half of the equation.

So let’s explore this. How can you feel good about all the bad stuff you’re dealing with?

It begins with choosing to believe in something that can’t be seen. Choosing to believe that something better is already on its way. Choosing to imagine that something more favorable is already in the works.

“…therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen…” (Alma 32:21)

The Law of Polarity promises a potential blessing to compensate for every hardship. When you start looking for the promised benefit contained in your adversity, you no longer remain the limiting factor in what the positive outcome can be.

Without the glance to Moses’ staff, without the pause to remember the promises in the Beatitudes, without a shift in focus, the natural laws by which God governs can only be expected to bring more of the same unhappiness. Change begins when WE change.

Hope is the answer. At least it’s the beginning. So if you are suffering, take a moment to remember God’s promises. Rehearse them in your mind. Speak them out loud. Allow yourself to hope that they are true, and begin looking for evidence that they are already in effect with you, right now.

When you choose gratitude and trust in the Lord even (especially) during a hardship, you are promised a better outcome—in fact, the best there is to have.

Part of the requirement is to let go of the outcome. Let go of how you want things to be (even if only for a moment), and be grateful now, just as things are. TRUST that if you do this, the best possible outcome WILL be realized, even if you don’t know what that is, and even if you’re not sure it will be good enough to make the pain or disappointment worth it. You must TRUST that it very much WILL be worth it.

The Law of Polarity also promises that if something is just a little bit bad, then the hidden benefit is only just a little bit good. They are equal and opposite. So if you’re dealing with something catastrophic, the promised potential benefit is equally phenomenal. This is why the most unfortunate person in the room is, in reality, the luckiest of them all, for the potential benefit they will realize if they learn to think lawfully about it.

So look forward with hope to whatever that blessing may be. Expect it. Be grateful for it, even before it is yours.

I’ve learned (although sometimes I forget) that if I experience a terrible blow or disappointment, the sooner I get on my knees and thank God for the awful thing I’m experiencing, the sooner it passes. In those times, my prayers often sound like this:

“Dear Father in Heaven, -sigh- thank you for this challenge. I don’t know how it is good for me, or why I must endure it, but thank you for it. I’m sure there’s a good reason, and I look forward to discovering what it is. Thank you for giving me a bad day (week, month, year…) if for no other reason but that I will know a good one when I have one. Help me through this. Help me find the hidden blessing in it. (Then I pause to really feel what I’m saying, and I try to imagine how he sees me in that moment. I imagine him feeling proud of me for choosing gratitude in spite of the circumstances. Then I close my prayer…) In Jesus’ name, amen.”

When I do this with sincerity, I absolutely feel a shift every time, and I know that the future outcome just changed for the better. I know it. And it has yet to fail me. I’ve been able to look back every time and see why my gratitude was not in vain.

Example: How a bad experience can be good

I think of the story shared by Corrie Ten Boom who suffered many difficulties in the German Concentration Camps. At one time, she and her sister argued about whether they must really express gratitude to God for even the fleas that infested their quarters. They were women of faith, but this was a tough thing to do. As it turned out, many of the other prisoners were regularly troubled by the guards, but Corrie and her sister were left alone—because of those horrible fleas.

As Napoleon Hill so eloquently stated, “Every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit.” So yes, we can be grateful for even the fleas, and even the hardships we face today. In truth, all things can work out for our good if we expect them to, looking forward to the understanding that will eventually come, and allowing the good to emerge through the tragedy like a gleaming sunrise after the coldest, darkest night. Remember, it’s always darkest just before the dawn.

As M. Catherine Thomas said in her book, Light in the Wilderness, “…if you wish to feel the most penetrating power of the Spirit, try the experiment of giving thanks in the moment of disappointment, of tragedy, of the specter of ruin. When you are able to do it consistently, you will feel as though you have discovered and united with the mystery of life.”

To learn more about the Laws, read Hidden Treasures. (FREE!)

And please, share this article with someone who needs an uplift today. Originally published April 6, 2012.

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Think Prosperously, Behave Frugally

Positive Thinking Tip: optimism will lead you to financial solutions, but be smart and live responsibly in the here and now.

Here is a question from one of my readers that I thought was worthwhile to share with  you.

Question:

How do you think, especially speak, feel, and act as though you are rich, and…

A. not spend money you don’t have?

B. still give positive responses as though the money is here now to people asking you to do things you don’t have the money for???

How do you “feel” like the money is here now, when you see something you want to buy, and can’t responsibly do that?

My Answer:

You can accomplish the “feel” task during a quiet moment of meditation – a finite length of time. Sometimes I’ll just go lay down for a nap and let myself daydream and feel the abundance I’m hoping for, and allow my mind to experience its reality, even if it is just for a few minutes. That’s planting the seed, and turning it over to the subconscious.

Then when you’re back to life as usual, behave responsibly. Say no when an irresponsible purchase is tempting you. Determine the difference between an irresponsible purchase and one that may lead you to the solutions you are searching for.

If you have planted the seed, then you will be led to opportunities, and there may be a twinge of fear in taking advantage of them, but it is a different kind of fear than the kind that accompanies frivolous purchases. Deep down, if you have a clear vision of where you ultimately want to be, you’ll know the difference. If it’s the kind of fear that prevents your progression, then it is worth facing. If it is the kind of fear that protects you from making a mistake, then pay attention to it.

How can you know the difference? If you spend the time visualizing and feeling like I’ve suggested, then when the fear comes, you’ll know in your gut which kind it is.

Out of all I’ve just said, the part that most people will NEVER do is to take the time to daydream, visualize, and FEEL, and approach it like a task on their to-do list. Do it, then check it off, and watch for the opportunities to come. Do it, and notice how much more clearly it is to discern a distraction or trap from an opportunity.

When you get confused or fearful, do it again, check it off, and move your feet forward, expecting clarity to come as you go.

Be smart with your spending, only live abundantly in your mind, enjoying the “experience” of virtual prosperity, but then live life as normal. In time, circumstances will re-arrange themselves to open the right doors and bring you the right opportunities, until reality can reflect the images of your thoughts.

Above all, stick to sound principles. We got caught a big debt trap several years ago even after learning these principles, because we got too excited about changing things too quickly. It was a painful lesson to learn, so now I discourage you from using credit to purchase my trainings or products. I’ll tell you instead to read The Jackrabbit Factor FREE, and do what it teaches to obtain the money you need.

I strongly advise you to give 10% to charity and save 10% of your earnings as well, no matter what you make. If you can’t, then get another or better job, or cut back on your lifestyle. Yes, I just said that.

Build a solid financial foundation. Do the hard things now on the way to your dream. Establish sound financial habits that will follow you into prosperity. If you are careless with the little money, you’ll be careless with the big money. It happened to us. It’s pretty much a law of nature: human nature.

Pay attention to the market trends and don’t get caught up in the frenzies. There will always be ups and downs. And ups. If you missed a window of opportunity, just put your life and house in order so that you’ll be ready for the next one. Practice delayed gratification.

You might be surprised to know that we are not paying for our children’s educations – we’re teaching them that they will need to earn the money or get scholarships. We are teaching them to avoid debt like the plague, even for their education. So far so good. I hope they stick to it, even if it takes them longer to finish. I tell them to sacrifice, work, think long term, and watch the opportunities come. I believe God honors and blesses those who practice wisdom.

He also lets us do stupid things, so trust me – be wise. Be the weird one in your circle of friends who doesn’t have all the luxuries, because you’re working a long-term plan. As the old adage goes, the last shall be first and the first shall be last.

All the while, practice the principles of right-thinking. Have faith. Think optimistically. Create a vision for where you’re going. Trust in the Law of Rhythm, and the Law of Polarity, and the Law of Vibration, especially. Read all about these laws FREE, here.

When you’re out shopping with your kids and they beg you to buy something, don’t say, “I can’t.” Instead say, “I choose not to spend my money on that.” Speak to empower. Even if you can’t afford it, your mind will hear and feel the response  “I choose” differently than “I can’t.” And it time, you’ll see the effects. When the words you speak are in line with correct principles, your life can’t help but begin to move in a better direction. Originally published September 12, 2006

Related: To Debt or Not To Debt. Learn how the way you feel about the purchase can also affect the overall outcome.

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#2: How to RECEIVE

A few years ago I had a troubling experience with one of my readers. It was unbelievable – as you’ll soon find out. Through this experience, I learned a powerful lesson about “how to receive”.

Let’s talk about the piece that sometimes gets overlooked: your ability to receive what you’re asking for.

It takes a certain amount of faith to ‘receive’, and I’ll show you why.

The podcast above is an excerpt from my Mindset Mastery Program.

Listen to the podcast first ^^. When you’re done, I have the sample lesson in PDF format for you, as a thank you for all of the tremendous love and support I’ve felt from my readers since 2002. However, a few readers have been unable to “receive” this gift, because there is an “obstacle” that must first be “overcome.”

(Read through the reader’s comments section below to see what I mean.)

NOTE: You will be taken to a Shopping Cart page where the file will be listed as FREE. No need for credit card info, just tell me who you are and you’ll be sent the download.

There is a reason I am delivering it this way…  see how you do!

Listen to the podcast first, and then click here to request your FREE GIFT

Enjoy! (Originally posted on December 23, 2009)

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Unseen Help

there is unseen help. When your goal is detailed and clear, the help stays on task with maximum efficiency.

I love the idea that there is unseen help available when you set out to accomplish a difficult goal. However, there are things you must do, or you may never see EVIDENCE of that help.

I know you’ve probably heard this before, but one of those things is writing your goal down.

I thought I already understood this. In fact, I had been teaching seminars on that very concept for a decade. But then I learned a very expensive lesson.

In one sense, I had become lazy. But really, I was just fatigued. I had stopped relying on unseen help to bridge the gap between what I could do, and what needed to be done. I had been running faster than I had strength. And I had neglected one very important step.

So even if you think you know what I’m going to say, I hope you’ll let me save you from making the same mistake.

It was years ago when we created an online training program, which was supposed to be released quite some time before it actually did.

The reason for the delay taught me a powerful lesson in goal achievement.

After I had created the curriculum and loaded the content, my husband (who, in his previous life worked in the IT department for Universal Studios) headed up the site structure and development.

Many times, during the first six months of the project, the developers asked me how certain pieces should be handled. Not only did I answer with vague generalities; but (to everyone’s dismay), I also quite often changed my mind.

Even worse, sometimes my answer was, “Oh, whatever you think is best.”

Well, months later – having also spent tens of thousands of dollars more than planned – we looked back on the project, and ultimately realized that it still wasn’t ready to release, because basically, our developers were running after a moving target.

That we put a date to the goal was irrelevant, because the target had not been clearly identified.

During those months after the target date, the site was intricately developed; but every time we thought it was nearly done, we’d discover that it wasn’t quite right and needed to be reworked.

My problem was that I didn’t know well enough – right from the beginning – what I wanted.  I didn’t know how the finished project SHOULD be.

All I had was a general idea; and I just took it for granted that the developers would figure it all out for me. After all, they’re the experts, right?

(I guess I assumed they could see my vision, without my describing it in detail.)

Ultimately, after going in circles too many times, the developers finally INSISTED that we give them a fully-developed ‘spec’.

A ‘spec’ is a document that specifies in absolute detail, every single aspect of what the site needs to be able to do, and precisely how it’s supposed to look and behave under every possible user action.

It’s the blueprint for the website.

Frankly, after already spending more than a year creating the curriculum, I was frustrated that I’d have to also help create a ‘spec’.

I wanted to say, “I already did MY part; can’t you all just figure it out?”

But with only vague directions, and different ideas floating around between the developers, problems kept cropping up.

Beta testers lost data, new registrants found themselves trapped in frustrating loops; and worst of all, we ultimately realized that the whole system had been built in the wrong environment, causing problems that weren’t going to go away unless we started all over.

Here’s the point of my confession.  I’ve been teaching people for years the importance of putting goals in writing, with detail.

And to be honest, I’ve successfully achieved many of my goals without going through the trouble.  It’s tedious work to put it in writing, and I don’t enjoy taking the time.  But this experience taught me how much more quickly, and smoothly (and less expensively) goals can be achieved if you DO take the time to create a ‘spec’.

I learned that yes, goals can be achieved if you just muscle it through, one way or another; but you’ll be more efficient, and your “developers” will be better utilized if you don’t leave so many variables up to chance.

So, what about you and your goals?

  • Are you vague, or are you perfectly clear about what you’re pursuing right now?
  • Do you change your mind often?
  • Do you sit back undecided and say, “Oh, whatever is best“?

The truth is, what’s best is that you choose.  Excellence doesn’t happen TO YOU.  You’ve got to step forward and initiate the change for which you keep wishing.

Life provides hardships and challenges so that you’ll wake up and start doing the uncomfortable things that help you become your best self.  That’s why the hardships are a gift.  The painful site delays and setbacks became a gift, to teach us this important lesson.

So, if you care about the outcome of your goal, and if you care about how quickly and inexpensively it is realized, then take responsibility for your life and write a ‘spec’.  Write your goals in detail, in present-tense, as though you were describing exactly how the finished project (your life) will look when it’s done.

Imagine that you really do have an unseen ‘developer’ somewhere, busily working for you, orchestrating the right people and opportunities for every one of your objectives.

But every time you change your mind, your assistant must drop everything and start all over.  If you’re unclear, then even if you don’t change your mind, it’s almost guaranteed that what shows up will be different than what you really meant.

(By the way, I never physically met the developers we had hired; so in many ways, they were just like the ‘unseen help’ that comes to your aid when you set a goal.)

So, create that well-documented ‘spec’.  Or if you’re not a techie, maybe it’s easier to imagine that you have some kind of an angelic ‘foreman’ waiting for your blueprint.

Sure, you could probably still achieve almost any goal without a blueprint or a ‘spec’; but the time, energy, and money lost from meandering and course-correcting can set you back so far that you may run out of steam entirely before the dream is realized. 

That’s the risk you take when you do not put in writing the things you need and want with detail.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that God and the Universe will ‘figure it all out’ for you.  In that case, you may end up meandering and course-correcting a lot more than necessary. You’ve been given the free agency to select good causes in which you will be anxiously engaged.  Heavenly ‘help’ is available to you as soon as you’re ready to enlist it.  But it won’t impose upon you.

So decide what you want to accomplish, and then ask clearly – and in faith – for the assistance you need.

Don’t be paralyzed by indecision. Don’t wait to know exactly what your goals ‘should’ be.  If you think about what you want, and make a decision firmly and resolutely to go for it without hesitation, then if for some reason it’s wrong, you’ll find out soon enough, and have sufficient momentum to make the proper course correction in time.

To learn how, read The Jackrabbit Factor (free). If you already have, then it’s time for the next step. Let me help you activate that ‘unseen help’, so you can proceed with confidence that you’re not going it alone. Originally published August 19, 2011

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What if My Spouse Doesn’t Think Positive?

GRUMPY SPOUSE? NO WORRIES.

I’ve had this question come in time and again about how much our thoughts can influence a situation if our spouse’s thoughts do not support our own. If we shouldn’t manipulate another person’s freedom to choose, how does this all work in a marriage if both parties are not on the same page?

Some people have a gift of strong faith, and others struggle more to develop it. If you have an easier time with faith than your spouse, it may be your role to encourage, inspire, and exercise patience.

Your challenge will be to demonstrate faith in SPITE of your spouse’s doubt. See how we all grow? Even those who have a natural tendency for faith will be tested, just in a different way.

Positive, faithful thoughts are many times more powerful than negative ones.

Your spouse’s negative thoughts will not sabotage yours, unless you worry that they will. So choose to believe. As long as YOU maintain a peaceful expectancy for that which you seek, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

Just remember though, in your marriage, keep PEACEFUL expectancy for success… don’t be manipulative!!!

In other words, if you keep expecting your spouse to change, stop it.

“People don’t resist change; they resist BEING changed.” Bob Proctor

Imagine your relationship happy. Feel the relief and gratitude you expect to feel when things are better. Imagine the prosperity. As the nature of your thoughts improve from critical and impatient to cheerful and at-peacefulness, the general feeling in the home will improve… and you’ll find that the rising tide lifts ALL ships.

As you imagine feeling the feeling you want to achieve in your home, you’ll be inspired as to what YOU can do to help it evolve in that direction. Don’t be surprised if you feel inspired to relax a little, and stop trying so hard to change everything. Ironically, this is often the first step to realizing true change, and often the hardest step for a real goal-achiever/go-getter to take.

Related: The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Tried to Write

Your vision and thoughts won’t force your spouse to change, nor should you expect them to. But they can certainly create an energy in the home that can help inspire it to happen in a very natural, gradual way.

Choosing faithful thoughts can help your spouse feel more hopeful. Once your spouse feels a little better, and begins to imagine the possibilities, opportunities will naturally follow, by the law of perpetual transmutation.

If your concerned that your spouse doesn’t have a better job, figure out “why” it needs to be better. Because, if the “why” is what you’re really after, the “how” may be something you never thought of. It could happen without a different job. The job itself could morph, or some other opportunity may come along, or you may find a way to accomplish the same ideal without a change in income.

Your thoughts do have power to bring opportunities… but your spouse must choose for him or herself whether or not to take them. So, bottom line, focus on the picture of your life the way you want it, and at the same time, release your expectations on your spouse.

Oh, the mental gymnastics!!!

Consider asking whether or not your spouse minds if you try to picture a better opportunity on his or her behalf. Your spouse may be more supportive than you think, and may end up testing the principles for him or herself as s/he sees things work for you. Best of all, you’ll begin to work together as one to achieve common goals. There is little else more powerful than that.

And don’t forget: it’s possible to get what you need without a change in income. Trades, gifts, odd windfalls… keep an open mind. As Wattles puts it, you “image” the thing, and the Universe will find the most efficient way of bringing it to you. Don’t pinch off the possibilities by deciding how it has to happen. Have fun daydreaming AND at the same time, relax about the “how”.

Above all, be grateful for however things line up. By choosing gratitude no matter what, you qualify yourself for the best possible outcome.

So if your spouse doesn’t respond the way you hope, be grateful anyway, trusting that God is leading the both of you along to learn the lessons he has in mind for you, all at the right time. Count it all a blessing.

In summary…

How to blow it: picture what you want, and wait for your spouse to make it happen. (You’ll end up in a negative “vibration” that will repel the things you want.) You’ll drive BOTH of you crazy if you’re always measuring your spouse’s behavior against your goals. Don’t base YOUR belief on anyone else’s actions. Your belief alone can be enough to initiate a significant shift.

How to succeed: picture what you want, see the prosperity in your mind, and enjoy the daydream, and then take the actions that come to YOUR mind. Trust God to inspire you to know exactly what YOU should do next. You can be shown a way to meet your obligations and thrive, all the while maintaining the values that are most important to you. He will help you get the timing right, too. You may even feel instinctively inclined to wait a little while before hitting it hard. Trust the peaceful impressions you feel, even if they seem illogical.

Knowledge eradicates fear and doubt. The more you understand, the more effective you become at applying the principles with success.

Lastly, read Portal to Genius – because the marriage described in that really FUN book illustrates exactly how all of these ideas really play out.
Originally published February 5, 2007

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