Positive Thinking Tip: Goal achievement is a learned skill, like a toddler learning to use a phone. When it doesn’t go the way you expected, hang up and try again!
When making a phone call, if you dial the numbers right, it works. Children who have never used a phone often have trouble making it work right for a while, just as we can have trouble making the laws of success work to achieve our goals.
It takes practice!
When a goal doesn’t happen the way you expected, it’s easy to get discouraged. Actually, that IS the COMMON thing to do. The uncommon thing to do is brush yourself off and ask the hard question:
“Where did I go wrong? What more do I need to know? In what way am I making this harder than it has to be?”
Common people may ask those questions, rhetorically, but not with a real intent of finding the answers. Actually, sometimes they don’t WANT the answer, because it’s just easier to say, “That law of attraction thing doesn’t work.” Truly, it’s easier to put the blame for failure on things outside of oneself.
**** OUCH! ****
(Now, if you’re offended, you may be surprised at the TURN this article takes next.)
On the other hand, UNCOMMON people ask the hard questions with a firm INTENT to find the answers. They SEEK for the answers, even if it means they have to admit that there may be more to learn.
Uncommon people will get uncommon results. Uncommon people will enjoy an uncommon lifestyle. If they DO ask the hard questions and find the answers, then the next time they pursue a goal, they can apply the new understanding, and can get better results.
Here’s why: For me, this question / answer /new attempt process happened HUNDREDS of times before I actually saw it really work even ONCE. I know hundreds of ways it DOESN’T work. Each failed attempt showed me something else that I needed to tweak about my approach.
Think about it… The first time a kindergartner tries to use the telephone, chances are good that s/he will dial the number wrong. When that happens, it would be foolish to say, “This phone doesn’t work!” The PHONE works fine. The user just needs to be extra careful to dial ALL the right numbers, in the right order, with no extra numbers inserted along the way.
The law of attraction works FINE. You’ve just got to be careful to dial ALL the right numbers in the right order, and not insert any extra ones along the way. When you do it right, it unfailingly works the way it should.
And the good news is that when you see it work once, you gain confidence, and eventually realize that it can work for you EVERY time. In fact, it can become second-nature, just like using the phone. Then, after experiencing some success, you discover that it can even be easier than THAT… like discovering the redial button.
But I have some BAD NEWS…
The one element that does NOT go away, no matter how slick you are, or how smart you get, is the TEST to exercise faith when all appearances indicate impending disaster. Yes, no matter how good you get at the process, and no matter how much money you make, you’ll always get plenty of opportunity to exercise faith, make sacrifices, and stretch yourself OUT of the comfort zone to accomplish the next goal.
You just get to a point where you learn to accept the difficult nature of the process. Sorry to burst your bubble.
The knowledge I share here does not avert the challenges, it just gives you the power to overcome them when they show up… the power of subconscious goal achievement in spite of difficulty… the power to have PEACE of MIND through the process.
And yes, you CAN HAVE your victory. You can have the MONEY you need. You can find the job, or succeed in business… You can have the FREEDOM you seek!
Just try again, and learn from your mistakes. That’s how you win.
Positive Thinking Tip: When results don’t come as fast as you want, trust that each epiphany along the way gets you one “tumbler” closer to your next victory.
Perhaps the reason “one book” or “one seminar” or “one program” was a MAJOR turning point for one person, but nothing more than a small stepping stone for another, is because achieving success is like opening a combination lock.
There are a finite number of discs that need to move into place before the lock will open.
Some people are raised in such a way, or have a natural-born inclination to live in harmony with the laws of success.
Sometimes those people have all but ONE of the discs already in place, so just one book or seminar or conversation with a mentor is all they needed to set them free and launch their lifestyle into the stratosphere.
Others have hundreds of discs that need to move into place.
But each time you increase your mental capital by learning more about how success really works, and by trying and failing and learning the lesson the experience contained, you allow yet another disc to rotate into place, and the good news is: that disc can stay in place for good.
One day, with just one more try, one more class, one more book, one more seminar, or one more conversation with a mentor, that FINAL disc will move into its proper position, and the lock WILL finally spring open.
You’ll probably tell everyone that that was THE BEST event or book or conversation there ever was… because it facilitated the most tangible results in your life.
The truth is, that each “aha” moment leading up to it was just as important and critical to your success as the last. If just ONE of the previous epiphanies had not happened, then that final event, book, or conversation would probably not have been the final disc.
So keep learning, keep seeking the next epiphany, because you never know… it just might be that final disc for you. If it isn’t, at LEAST there’s just one less disc to go.
Even if you’ve experienced a breakthrough before, taking it to the next level will always require the opening of another lock, sometimes just a little more complex than the one before.
But don’t worry, you’ll open them all, by just rotating one simple disc into place at a time.
Your desire is simply a “possibility” seeking expression through you… honor your dream, don’t give up on it. One step, one rotated disc at a time and you’ll surely get there.
For more on this topic, and for a regular diet of personal development training, join me in my low-cost Insider’s Club!
Positive Thinking Tip: when you don’t achieve the results you expect, “check the address”.
Some time ago I was in Utah with my husband and two of my kids for a conference, and while we were there, I needed to pick up some books from Garrett Gunderson, my co-author for Portal to Genius. I love telling people about his book, Killing Sacred Cows, and needed some more to have on hand for my local events.
(Both books are very much worth reading, by the way…)
I texted Garrett while I was there, and since it was on a weekend and nobody was in his office, my only other option on short notice was to pick some of the books up from his home.
He responded, “I’m out of town, so just go get some from the garage in the back of my house. We have some friends staying there in an RV out front – just tell them why you’re there if they ask.”
I rounded the corner to his home and pulled up in front. “I’ll just be a minute, kids.”
The house was dark, and so was the RV, so I just went to the gate, followed his instructions on how to get in, and made my way to the back garage. The door was ajar, so I let myself in.
A quick scan of the area produced nothing – I couldn’t find any books – so I texted Garrett again for better instructions. He didn’t answer, so I called my husband. “Can you try to get a hold of Garrett and ask him where in the garage are the books?”
A few minutes later, he came back with, “You were supposed to do this tricky latch thing with the gate…”
“Yeah, I did that; I’m already in the garage – where are the books?”
“He said they’re in the back garage…”
“Yeah, I know; I AM in the back garage. Where in the garage are these books supposed to be?”
“He just said it would be obvious. There’s 5,000 books in there.”
I was stumped. I looked around, and I saw nothing but 3 cars and some tools, and a few large RubberMaid-style plastic bins – not the best for book storage, and no way there would be room inside those bins for 5,000 anyway. I checked the rafters above me. I prowled between all three of the cars, scanning every square inch, thinking I must be blind.
Why don’t his directions make any sense? Why aren’t they producing the results that he promised?
I came out of the garage and walked out to the front again. I turned around and retraced the same steps, following the directions perfectly. I prowled around the darkly lit back yard a bit, double-checking to make sure there wasn’t another back garage somewhere, and ended up back in the same garage with no greater insight than I had before.
I called Trevan again. “Honey, there are NO books in here – and nowhere to hide 5,000 of them anyway. I’m sure if this pile of books was a snake it would’ve already bit me… but I’m stumped. Will you call Garrett again?”
Trevan ended up calling Garrett two or three times. He told Garrett, “She can’t find them.”
Garrett responded, “I don’t know how she could miss them! Is she in the back garage?””
“She says she’s in there, and she’s not seeing them.”
To be perfectly truthful, I was getting REALLY frustrated with Garrett for not being more specific, and for not taking my frustration seriously enough to give me some useful instructions. I felt like he was ignoring my question, leaving me to figure it all out on my own, and I was already late for an appointment and increasingly annoyed at my predicament. Why won’t he just tell me something more specific like, “The books are in the north-west corner next to the white SUV” or something like that?
Finally, after going in and out three times and scouring the place, I came back to my car and took a deep breath. Glancing up, I noticed there was another RV parked out front of the neighbor’s house next door, too.
Then it dawned on me.
I was in the wrong house altogether. I had been prowling inside a stranger’s home; trespassing, combing their property for something that didn’t exist. Once I put myself in the right location, the instructions finally worked. I met Garrett’s house guest, did the tricky latch thing, found the back garage, and retrieved the books.
Now for the lesson. (Of course, you knew I’d find an object lesson in this, didn’t you?)
Here it goes:
How often do you take advice on how to get what you want out of life, only to find that those instructions don’t produce the promised results?
Garrett promised there were thousands of books waiting for me – an abundance of what I wanted – and his instructions were perfectly accurate. The fact that I could not receive them was not his fault. The blame rested squarely upon my own shoulders for not making sure I was first oriented to the location that was supposed to be the starting point.
Perhaps you’ve found hope through various books, audios, or events from me or other teachers of success principles, but are having trouble experiencing the promised results. If that’s the case, then let’s take a step back and find out if you’re in the right starting point for utilizing those instructions, shall we?
The FTMF (Family Time & Money Freedom) Program can help. It opens wide its arms to gather in all who struggle to see results, and brings them first to square ONE. If you’ll allow me to bring you to square ONE, then from there, the FTMF program will walk you step-by-step through an experience where you will get a taste of intentional success with something small, and then gives you the courage and confidence to apply the process to bigger and better things. In fact, once you’ve experienced intentional success in spite of the obstacles once, and your brain has developed those new neuro-pathways for success, doing it again for bigger life-goals is a whole lot easier.
We have countless participants who get through the program and then repeat it again, the next time for something bigger and even more amazing.
positive thinking tip: Acknowledge the source of your success; live in gratitude.
There are a lot of success “gurus” out there, and in spite of what some of my readers have said, I have to admit I don’t really see myself as one of them.
Having traveled the seminar circuit, and having written two award winning and three best-selling books, I’ve been lumped in the category of speakers who “have it all together” – which is laughable to me.
I am an ordinary person who tries her best to do the right things, but still makes mistakes just like anyone else – if not more so. Perhaps one difference between me and other people is that I’ve made a project out of publicly sharing the lessons I’ve learned (and have yet to learn) along the way.
(Thank you for coming along on my journey through life… it’s nice to have your company!)
So what’s the difference between me and the other “gurus”?
Well, one difference has to do with my perspective on human empowerment.
While some gurus teach that you are the ultimate master of your own life, and that you can have, do, and be whatever you want, and that you deserve to have everything life has to offer… my take on it is similar, but different enough that I think it’s worth bringing up.
Some gurus will tell you that you deserve it all.
That’s reasonable, but realize this: They tell you that so you’ll overcome the common mindset that you don’t deserve abundance.
In that light, it’s a good philosophy. But it’s incomplete.
Yes, we must overcome the feeling that we are unworthy or undeserving of success… but the flip side of that is NOT that we are entitled to it, or automatically deserving of anything.
The antidote for feeling unworthy or undeserving (from my perspective, at least) is to believe that the gap between who I am, and my potential, can be bridged when I lean on the power of my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Frankly, I “deserve” nothing because I fall so short of living the principles perfectly. But gratefully, I’ve also learned that I don’t have to be perfect to enjoy the blessings, I just need to recognize my shortcomings, acknowledge them, and rely on Him to make up the difference.
Think about it: if we’re really talking about Universal Law, and if it’s as absolute as the term “law” would indicate, then you would have to maintain a perfectly positive, expectant attitude ALL the time or the law of attraction wouldn’t work. Period.
Yet, while nobody keeps their thoughts perfectly (and I mean perfectly) positive at all times, goals are still achieved; victories are still won.
How do you explain that?
I explain it this way: God has provided a way for the demands of the law to be satisfied, but it requires honest effort to be obedient to the law, while I do my best to bounce back into right thinking as soon as I can, and having humility – humility which is demonstrated by acknowledging the role of, and my need for, a higher power in the delivery process, and hoping that God will make up the difference where I fall short when I trust him. (How’s that for a run-on sentence?)
It takes faith to believe that my Creator can and will help – but that’s the price I pay… The price is not to achieve perfect, unfailing obedience to all the laws of success every moment of every day. The price I pay is to do my best, and have faith in God that he’ll line things up for me, anyway.
The key is unwavering faith.
Not unwavering faith in oneself, not unwavering faith in the laws (because that would mean nothing but predictable failure, from imperfect obedience to an absolute law), but rather: unwavering faith in God.
So, do you subscribe to the philosophy that you ALONE are powerful enough to make your life the way you want it? It IS a better philosophy than believing that you are powerless to change anything…
But faith in yourself alone can only get you so far. Faith in a divine Creator takes you the rest of the way. In many ways it can be harder to do, but when you get into the groove of it, it’s definitely the easier of the two options.
Some gurus will tell you that you’re the creator of ALL that comes to you. I see myself as a CO-creator with God. It’s a partnership. Yes, I am capable of original thought, and I am even capable of creating circumstances in my life with some independence.
But I’ve also learned (the hard way) that when I take the independent approach, and get what I want, I find out that it may not have been the wisest thing to ask for.
(Be careful what you pray for, as they say, because you might just get it.)
Yes, I’ve seen astonishing results from applying the laws of success and utilizing the power of intention. But I’ve seen even better results when I first make the effort to determine whether my desire is in alignment with God’s divine plan. When I know with certainty that I am in alignment, it’s infinitely easier to have the faith required while I wait for the necessary elements to line up.
You might wonder, “What if what God wants for me is less wonderful than what I want for myself?”
I feel assured that we cannot possibly imagine the unbelievable rewards that are available for us; rewards that are beyond our comprehension.
We’re like the child who wants nothing more than the plastic toy in the store window, while our parents know that the joy will be short lived, and that life has much deeper joys to be experienced.
So it is with us. Trust that the object of your desire may be, relatively speaking, childish in comparison to the rewards that are available to us. Check with the parent to see, “Is this something that will bring me ALL the happiness I’m capable of experiencing?”
True, you can use the laws of success to get what you want, apparently without God, sometimes with amazing ease. And using the laws in alignment with God’s purposes often puts you first through tougher challenges than by going independent…
That’s because He’s a good parent.
He’s smart enough to let you first grow into the person capable of appreciating and completely utilizing the reward when it finally comes.
Don’t begrudge the challenge that shows up when you set a goal. Embrace it with gratitude because it’s there to shape you into the person who will be able to fully appreciate the reward you seek.
Haven’t you heard that you don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are? How else do you think you change who you ARE, without opportunities to grow through opposition?
Yes, I am the captain of my soul; I am a creative being, capable of original thought, and able to build a better life for myself… no matter who I am, or where I come from.
But without God I am nothing.
Before you get all up in arms about that, think about it: I don’t dictate whether I have the breath of life in me today or not; it could literally be gone in an instant. (Try attracting another breath with your positive attitude when God shuts off the power fueling your life.)
You may not already have everything you want, but you HAVE been granted another breath, at least. How much say did you have in that matter?
It’s a gift worth acknowledging. I look at all I receive as a gift, even when I’ve worked my tail off for it.
So in summary, I am constantly reminded by my weaknesses how dependent I am on that higher power for strength. I rely on unseen help for the guidance I need, which leads me to the necessary resources to accomplish the goals I have. Call it the law of attraction, call it guidance, call it your subconscious, call it whatever you want. The point is, there’s something bigger than all of us that helps us along.
Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been successful at achieving a goal with an attitude that I “deserved” it or was “entitled” to it. I think this is the reason why:
Sometimes when one of my own children comes to me with a request, and s/he approaches me with an entitlement mentality, I am more inclined to deny the request. (What makes me think a cocky expectation of a goal achieved is what will impress my Creator?)
But when my child comes to me with gratitude for what they already have, and make the request for something additional, sometimes I’ll test them with, “What if I say no?”
If their response is, “That would be okay…” then I usually freely deliver.
When their response is anything resembling a tantrum, I hold it back. I can’t reward the ingratitude. Even if I want them to have it, I can’t deliver, lest they conclude it was their tantrum that did the trick.
It’s all just food for thought:
How are YOU asking Life for what you want? With an entitlement mentality, a tantrum, or with gratitude?
Are you going to be able to find peace of mind if it never comes? I think you’ll find that sometimes it only finally arrives after you’ve learned to live in genuine peace and happiness without it. My newest book, Portal to Genius helps you understand this better in a story form.
Wow, that post was longer than I intended. Sorry about that.
If you want to travel this journey with me, I can help you better if you’ll read The Jackrabbit Factor. (It’s free.)