Releasing Bitterness

I received a letter that I don’t want to lose, and it has some valuable insights in it, so I’ll just post it here. My friend began her letter with a quote:

“It is my opinion that many really good teachers do not come from joyful households where all was easy. They come from a place of much pain and suffering, and they’ve worked through the layers to reach the place where they can now help others to become free. Most good teachers are continually working to release even more, to remove ever-deeper layers of limitation. This becomes a lifetime occupation.” Hay, Louise L. (2011-11-07). 21 Days to Master Affirmations (Kindle Locations 240-243). Hay House. Kindle Edition.

Leslie,

While I was reading this, I thought of you and all the times in the past year that you have mentioned in my hearing of your struggles to keep going despite the personal struggles you have had with the program and principles you teach.  Louise is the first “self-help” writer I ever read who actually HELPED me, when I read You Can Heal Your Life.  It was nearly twenty-five years ago, and I was becoming very ill.  I did not heal my body, but many things in my LIFE healed through what she taught me in that book.

I felt similar changes within myself when I began studying with you.  That is why I continued, why I pursued my Mentor Certification, why I continue to study, search, practice, and what Louise calls “release”, to move forward in my own life so I can learn enough to teach others with my own voice and not just parrot what I have learned.  Not that what I have learned is not good 🙂 you know that.  But you didn’t want “clones” to come out of your class, you wanted individual teachers who can help others.  Which is why I am still studying, expanding, searching.

I recently crossed paths with a young man in a parking lot.  We hit upon the topic of “bitterness” in our lives.  It made me realize that I still have a LOT of forgiving to do (my “hit list” of people I must forgive in order to free myself from the pain that holds me back in my own progression), and at age 60, now, I’d better get on with it! 🙂

Following the example of Goal Statements, I wrote it down.  I felt my pain pour out onto the page as I thanked God, in advance, for freeing me from the pain and bitterness of the memories I hold like a viper to my breast about these people.  It reminded me of the saying “Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die.”

I know I’m not totally free, yet.  It’s a list of four people, and two of them are still involved in my life as they are closely related family members.  But it was a start, and it felt SO GOOD!

Thank you for teaching me a way to start this!  If you ever need encouragement to keep going, please, please, PLEASE keep teaching, Leslie.  Our world needs what you so very capably teach.  I can’t imagine us without you.  I can’t imagine me being able to teach without you.  I can’t imagine how I would ever have healed as much as I have in the past two years without you and all I have learned FROM YOU.

If ever I can guide one other person onto this path of healing and peace for themselves, I will feel as if I have done you justice.  I do my best to give a “Jackrabbit” lesson to everyone who gives me the opportunity to work it into the conversation.

My usual signature to people I care about is “Love and Hugs,” but I want you to know that with this letter, it is so much more than that.  I just don’t know how to say it.

Love and Hugs,
Jan 🙂

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