#21: The Power of your Thoughts


In this episode, Leslie Householder speaks at a retreat to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, taped informally at a lodge. (Includes kitchen noises and sounds of children.)

If you’ve ever needed the Lord to intervene and send help for a problem that was bigger than you, listen to this podcast. You’ve heard the promise, “Ask and ye shall receive.” But do you ever think, “I’m asking, so why am I not receiving??” This episode addresses this question, and also discusses counterfeits, and using discernment and wisdom in using the principles appropriately.

Related links:

Hidden Treasures book FREE download
The Jackrabbit Factor FREE download
Portal to Genius FREE download
The Visual Aid that Changed Everything (video)
Leslie’s Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse
Leslie’s Mindset Mastery Home Study Course
Genius Bootcamp
Powered with Purpose Retreat (Becky Edwards)

Show notes:

We can “just ask”
Eliminating the constant worry
I’m asking, why isn’t it working
Remember why you do what you do. How you felt. How hard it was.
Small adjustments to the way we think that open the heavens to us
Don’t need to beg and plead.
If I was just righteous enough, serve enough, perfect enough… see fit to bless us
Escape rooms like earth life
I’ve seen the evidence, I know my resources and capabilities. The math does not add up.
Bondage. Stuck.
Gideon.
Remember!
I can’t say this will be easy this time because it never has been. We can’t relate it to experience. We need the rare kind of faith.
Event in Florida – cheap flight
when your faith is weak, knowledge can strengthen your faith
nothing changes your confidence more than knowing who you really are
understanding the laws, makes it so much easier to have faith.
Packer quote
21:30 why it’s good to be discerning
There is a power that supplies things in an inappropriate way
There is always a counterfeit
LOA is a true principle
So similar to what we as Christians should stay away from
Gravity affects us all no matter what our intentions are
Converted, the principles are still true, but it’s harder. Because God needs me to change first.
used by the adversary to take us away from our true purpose and mission
We need to understand these principles to accomplish the impossible things he asks of us, which we need to do in preparation for the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ.
My heart desire is to help the house of israel discover and fulfill their purpose and mission unhindered by the money problem.
Those are great stories that sell books.
Lord lets you learn the principles in temporal problems, but then go and apply these principles to your calling.
Big house burdensome
I hesitate to want staff.
If you have a big mission you should have staff to help you with all that (housekeeping, etc). I agree. I’m just not sure my mission requires that.
Who we could be if money was not our distraction
Is this right? good? LA Temple plaque
Mormonism embraces all truth, if there be any truth in hell it belongs to us more on that: http://ararekindoffaith.com/plagiarism/
Visual aid that changed everything 30:27
Oh that I could be as hungry without the pain
Prosperthefamily.com link
Mind Model = The Visual Aid that Changed Everything
Mormified version
37:10 Trevan cartoon
Elder Nelson – better study the law connected to that blessing
43:30 currant bush
The Laws (see Hidden Treasures book)
So my husband lost his job
Beginning of real presentation 55:10ish
If we had this super power of rare faith
Describe all the reason it’s hard to accomplish your ideal
2 factors that determine what will run in the subconscious mind:

  • repeated often
  • charged with emotion

Our conscious mind has been unconscious!
Agency – not making anyone do anything, but picturing the desired outcome, what the peaceful relationship looks and feels like. So that I am not the limiting factor.
Tally marking
When you’re reading the words but focused on the dream, the words have no meaning. Same with negative experiences in your life, if you are focused on the dream, the experience also can have no meaning.
GBC bat spin montage
The one secret that we keep about Bootcamp 1:17:21
The straight course is less painful
Careless thoughts cause disorientation, confusion, unnecessary hazards, miss the target
If you do not watch your thoughts
Check – how are you approaching your dream? What does your path look like now? meandering? missing the mark? Confused? Disoriented?
Focused, disciplined thoughts lead to confidence, certainty, safety, hitting the target
Bonus: in context of stickman: true doctrine understood changes attitude and behavior. Study of the doctrines improve behavior quicker than the study of the behavior improves behavior.
If you worry about something before it happens, and it happens, you’ve lived it twice (credit?)
True doctrine D&C 67 – whose prayers I have heard… mine eyes are upon you…
Alma 12:19 They saw with their eyes that which they had seen with an eye of faith
Why I hate Vision boards
What I needed (journal)
I needed a committee of help
Prayer request. Giving permission to help me.
Date and timestamp
Nathan’s job
Landlord’s concerns
When a relationship goes off
Follow the Spirit
Achievement can become an addiction
Wisdom in all things
Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Pro-creation/Co-creation
I could use these principles to solve this – something constrains me, no let it resolve itself this other way
I used to think I had to look impressive to be a representative of this message. Not anymore.
What are the boundaries? Learn from other people’s mistakes. Read my blog – ararekindoffaith.com
making mistakes along the way.
JF all the ways it doesn’t work
S. Michael Wilcox – life will carve a place out of your heart to give room for the answer that the Lord wants to give you
Science project – happy/ugly basil

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Thinking Counter-Intuitively in Hard Times

When times are tough, you have to think outside the box if you want to come out on top. With every conscious, principles-based response to each challenge, you dodge another bullet.

Here’s an example of one man who did just that, during the Great Depression:

My friend Glen was visiting with us, and shared a story about his grandfather that is worth repeating. His grandfather was a banker in 1933, and in order to keep depositors from bankrupting the system by withdrawing all their money, Franklin D. Roosevelt declared a United States Bank Holiday from March 6 to March 10.

Banks were allowed to reopen when they could prove that the money in their reserves was greater than or equal to the money that had been deposited in. If the banks were unsound they would stay closed or could apply for a government loan in order to keep from declaring bankruptcy. (Wikipedia)

Glen told me, according to his grandfather, that one out of three banks never re-opened.

Upon hearing the announcement that he was required to close his bank, and knowing the fallout that would probably happen from it, he chose to think outside of the box, and be a resourceful problem-solver, instead of shrinking into fear and victimhood. He knew that the declaration itself would create panic for many of his customers, and that when he reopened, there would likely be a run on the money.

The problem became his opportunity. He recognized a need: the people needed peace of mind, even more than they needed their money. So he contacted the top four leaders of women’s church organizations in the community, and asked them to organize a community barbecue to celebrate the holiday.

They were to get everything they needed to put on a feast, and that he would pay for the food if they would prepare and serve it.

It went off without a hitch, and when he opened his doors, nobody asked for their money back, and his bank thrived through the Great Depression.

No matter how bleak things appear to be, you can be resourceful. Look for a need in someone else’s life, and see what you can do to fill the need. Leave everyone you meet with an “impression of increase”. Leave them better than when you found them.

Fear will cause you to do things to perpetuate the problem. Thinking prosperously in the face of fear can inspire you to do things that solve the problem.

Read Portal to Genius (free!) to find out how.

Originally published October 18, 2008

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Another Broken Broom

You may have heard about the time when I called the cops on the kid who broke my broom. Well, did you know that there’s another broom story that happened exactly ten years later?

Before I get into the second story, you need to know about the first one:

The first one happened before we discovered the principles of prosperity and began to consciously abide them. I had been in a relentless depression that held me in a discouraged, negative place for a very long time. On edge over money problems, I snapped when I stepped outside of our two-bedroom apartment and found my broom had been broken in half by a neighbor teen boy.

With my mindset where it was, the only thing I could think of to do was call the police. I didn’t have money to replace the broom, and I was too angry to see any alternatives. Watch here:

As you can see from the video, I tell that story to illustrate “thought frequencies.” We think at a certain level, and experience results which will always be in harmony with the way we think. If we want different results, we must learn how to think on a higher plane. Most of the time, it requires learning from someone else who already does.

If you continue to face similar problems year in and year out, you might want to consider the fact that you cannot think your way out of a problem that you (consciously or subconsciously) thought your way into—unless you think differently than you ever have before.

When you face a challenge, know this: a solution does exist. If you come up with a solution on the same thought frequency that you’ve had all along, it might not get you the results you hope for. If you cannot think of a solution at all, it is simply because you are not yet tuned in to the frequency on which the solution is broadcast through the room, even right now, as you read.

To help you understand this, think of a radio. When you turn on a radio and adjust the dial, eventually you can tune in to a broadcast and the sound becomes audible and clear. If you want a different broadcast, you adjust the dial. The radio did NOT “attract” the music; the music was already there.

Solutions to your dilemmas are also “already there”. If you cannot think of them, it is because your “receiver” is not yet “tuned” properly. Once it is, the solution comes directly to your mind with clarity as an “aha” moment, or you are led to the person or resource, which will reveal the solution to you. Your body, the tool of your mind, is a literal receiver, tuned according to its vibratory state, which is controlled by your thoughts and emotions. It’s that simple.

The first step to “tuning in” is to see yourself experiencing the relief you seek. See it in your mind’s eye, as though it were really happening to you, right now. As you build the picture in your mind and allow yourself to FEEL the success, you literally alter the vibratory state of your body—the physical tool with problem-solving capabilities that your were given at birth

Constantly entertaining the awful “what if’s” keeps your body in a vibratory state that only tunes you in to PERCEIVED solutions and ideas, which may actually keep you moving toward the disaster you’re trying so desperately to avoid.

(I suggest you stop and read that paragraph again more slowly.)

Alternatively, you’re free to dream. It’s the first step toward freedom! As you dream, you literally alter your energy-connection to things in the world around you, to begin moving all things prosperous into your life. Everything you need already exists. Prepare yourself to receive by thinking truth in spite of appearances, that life IS abundant. Prosperity abounds, and it is only an altered vibratory state away.

Now onto the second broom story:

About 10 years later, my 12 year-old son came to me and sheepishly said, “Mom, I broke your broom.”

My first thought was a flashback to the day I called the police (ten years before) because of my broken broom.

Then I smiled, because I realized that even though I didn’t really WANT to buy another one, I wasn’t worried about it. So the floor might be messy for a while. Not a big deal. So I have to get another one. I’ll get around to it; I have bigger fish to fry. I could think of a hundred ways to solve the problem now.

Same problem, but a completely different experience, because I was finally tuned in to a growing wealth of ideas and solutions.

Stress shuts the idea channels off.

…while calmness, or serenity, opens them up. Trusting God and melting into peace can literally flip the ON-switch to your inspiration receiver.

“Peace, be still” is just good advice at any level. Trust God. The degree of success you enjoy will be in direct correlation to your ability to remain calm and rely on Him through increasingly complicated challenges.

Your capacity to prosper can grow as you learn to demonstrate true serenity at each level.

In time, you’ll look back and see that what was so hard for you before is child’s play now. Whether it is the threat of foreclosure, or concern about a job interview, in 10 years you’ll probably laugh that you once worried about such things.

So get inspired by feeding your mind with higher-level ideas. It doesn’t have to be formal, just get around people who think right. Spend time with them in person, or read their books if they have some. Associate.

One of the best ways you can ‘associate’ with me and others on the same path is to join me in my MINDSET MASTERY™ Program (a 300+ page manual, 2-workbooks, 3 CDs, a DVD, and personal assistance at the midterm). Learn more about the Program here.

If you’re not ready for the more intensive 12-week experience, a good place to start is with the 8-week Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse (4 immediate downloads and 20 email lessons sent to your inbox over the next 2 months). Learn more about the Ecourse here.

Onward and upward!

Originally published Dec 30, 2007

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#18: Making Money from Home

We live in a society today where there are an unlimited number of ways to make money from home (pictured above is just one of those ways). This is my sister-in-law’s Etsy shop, which is really thriving! But no matter who you are, or what you do (or will someday do), if you’re a mom working from home, you face some unique challenges.

Class Description:

Women, especially moms, tend to struggle in business.

  • They get excited about a great idea, and then get hung up trying to figure out how to get their business off the ground.
  • They struggle with all the information that’s out there and trying to figure out what works, and what is just hype.
  • They struggle feeling like they need to have “permission” to invest in themselves and their dreams.
  • They struggle with finding the time they need to pursue their dream because they are so busy taking care of everyone else.

Does any of this sound familiar?  Well, this is typical of women who feel pulled to make a difference and build a business.

Then, how have some women been able to build a successful, fulfilling business AND have the freedom to be with their families?

Carol Lamoreaux wondered the same thing. So she decided to interview women who have built their dream business and chat with them to find out their secrets. In this podcast you can listen in on her interview with me, and learn more about:

  • How to get things done.
  • How to keep the important things important.
  • How to be your authentic self and just go for it!
  • How to keep yourself on track.
  • And more…

Show notes:

Rudy
Why I love my business: it lets me be mom at home
Mistakes women make in business

  • not being themselves (be a better version of yourself instead of someone entirely different)
  • stop trying to please everybody

When building a business, where do you spend most of your time? Can’t go wrong spending time daydreaming about the vision. You don’t have to go the distance, be smarter, faster, etc.
Rely on unseen help, partner with God
I can’t do it by my own strength
Visualizing doesn’t just keep you motivated, it causes lucky breaks and serendipitous experiences
Don’t become enslaved to your business
When lucky breaks become predictable instead of shocking

Productivity Waster: worrying
Feel stuck? serve someone
Even busy work is more productive than worrying
You can’t steer a parked car, and worrying parks your car
Serve someone without expecting a reward
Expand your knowledge or create something that expands someone else’s knowledge
Relationship Capital x Mental Capital = Financial Capital
If you’re worrying about something and then it happens, you’ve lived it twice
Don’t anticipate it

#1 Productivity Habit: visualizing the finished product
Clear vision ensures the greatest efficiency
Sometimes I can only see the next step so I go that far and trust that the step after that will be apparent when I get there
Husband wants to see the 10-20 year picture, but it overwhelms me (the what to do piece)
Favorite tool in my business:
Automation software

Strategies to stay on target:
Allow myself to get off target, seasons of imbalance
Sharon Lechter – standing over feet balance analogy
Be willing to swing
Airplane is off target most of the time, always course-correcting.

How do you fit personal development in?
Not the way we used to. A little bit of reading every day, and spending time with like-minded people who can help us remember who we are and where we’re trying to go.

Advice for someone just getting started: Believe in your dreams, they wouldn’t be there if they weren’t possible.
People will think you’re crazy.
Dog chasing rabbit analogy

When you see it, what to do next becomes instinctive.

What am I doing now that I’m passionate about?
I spent years teaching people how I built a six figure income giving my book away for free – so I’m passionate about giving away my free things 🙂

Free gift for listeners:

Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters – free download at http://www.hiddentreasuresbook.com

More about Carol Lamoreaux:

Need a new website?
Want your current website overhauled?
Need help managing your email autoresponder?
Doing a telesummit and need help managing the tech stuff?

Carol is here for you! ProMomSolutions specializes in building client-attracting and list-building websites and telesummit projects. I also help mompreneurs get rid of tech headaches, by taking it off your plate, so you can spend your valuable time on what you are good at.

Learn more about Carol at at https://promomsolutions.com/

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#16: How to Surrender (and why you’d want to)

With effective goal achievement, there comes a point where it’s time to “let go”, or “surrender”, because if you try to force it, your persistence can backfire. This podcast is an excerpt from a personal coaching call with me and my client, who graciously allowed this to be made public so that it can help others who have similar questions.

My client had seen God’s hand in her life before, and acknowledged that He has ensured her needs have been met many times. But she worried:

What if this is the first time it doesn’t work out?
What if I’ve used up all the grace tickets?
What if I just keep busting myself up against the laws?
What if everything that matters to me falls apart?

Discover the answer to these questions and many more in this episode of the Rare Faith Podcast.

Related: Human Empowerment in Perspective

Show Notes:

The misunderstood principle of letting go or surrendering
Giving up – not to the enemy but to God
Examples of a pattern: JS in the grove ready to abandon himself to destruction, Peter using Rare Faith to walk on water but still needing a rescue, Alma snatched from burning.
There is a time and a place for giving up.
Surrendering doesn’t mean do nothing, it’s letting go after you’ve tried everything and it didn’t work
I want to be led. I don’t want to impose my agenda. I want total faith.
Choosing rock bottom
Being clear on how you want to FEEL
What is your time frame to accomplish that? By NOW
Are you willing to RECEIVE? Snarky.
Beating myself up for my inability to receive
What if the thing you want is a few years down the road?
If I can be guaranteed that, then I can hang in there.
Labor – what kept me going was knowing that it WILL end. I can endure anything if I know it will end soon.
Get out of your own way. What does that even mean??
The struggles are not for nothing. It IS going to happen, no doubt
You and me hanging out in heaven saying, remember when? That was HARD! We will sit in a garden somewhere…
You found out it would take 15 years. How would you tackle today’s tasks?
With relief.
If you don’t want to think about heaven, think about 15 years from now, reminiscing back.
Goals written in present tense, vs. goals in past tense
Restaurant story
Get comfortable with a longer term plan, if for no other reason than to keep you out of anxiety. If that’s all it’s for, it’s enough of a reason.
Why I love Dave Ramsey
Yes you can triple income in a short time, but it’s important to also live by the law of the harvest and develop habits and accept the slower processes
Quick success? If they have not also established some long term habits, they will fall.
Hustle fatigue
Next goal: to know that you have sufficient
Time for your loved ones, time to serve.
When you feel anxiety:
1) remember, you’re on the X year plan
2) don’t be afraid to find out exactly where you’re at, listen to Dave and come up with a plan
Why I love KLove

 

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Must there be a struggle at all?

As described in Phase 2 of The Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse, we live in a Universe governed by natural laws, including the Law of Rhythm. We will have ups and downs, even if we’re on a very focused and determined “rabbit hunt.”

The good news is that the discomfort comes in surges. We’re given breaks along the way. We can expect to have relatively better days in between (and on either side of) the tougher days.

It’s like going through labor to bring a child into the world: The labor pains come in surges. However, nature gives the mother breaks so she can have a chance to gather strength.

Does there need to be a struggle at all?

I’m told that some women have learned the art of labor without pain or medication. (I was not one of them.) But I would guess their mental toughness was something that had to be developed, and I don’t know how it could have been developed entirely without the opportunity to practice during some pain.

The good news is that the baby will come, with or without pain. Experienced doctors and midwifes, however, will tell you that the more you fight the pain, the worse it hurts.

The same goes with giving birth to a dream. There is work to be done regardless, but it hurts less if you don’t fight the rhythm.

Progress happens better when you relax, in spite of hardships and apparent setbacks (which are really only “setbacks” as much as labor pains are considered “setbacks.” In reality, each one brings you closer to the goal if you are wise to see it for what it is.)

One thing is for sure, the joy at the end far surpasses whatever is required along the way. So, keep your eye on the prize and remember that NOBODY was ever pregnant forever! Originally published March 9, 2008

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Success Through Failing

There’s something I want you to know about Wendy Bunnell’s new book, Success Through Failing.

My first memory of Wendy Bunnell, the author of this book, was when she entered a contest to win a free ticket to my Genius Bootcamp. She was already a diligent student of the Mindset Mastery program, and her application stood out, for an interesting reason, and yes, she won.

Now she is a best-selling author, and hosting a powerful event next week called The Success Summit, which will be LIVE and LIVESTREAMED on February 4th!

(If you’re reading this and want to enter to win a free ticket to Genius Bootcamp February 23-25 for yourself like Wendy did back in 2015, simply get a message to me and let me know why you want to be considered. This is not a well-known opportunity. You do not have to be  Mindset Mastery program participant to qualify.)

Anyway, about her book:

(This is from my Foreword)

Nothing makes you feel better about your difficult circumstances than when you can see them from a 10,000-foot view. This kind of perspective can reveal hidden benefits, solutions, and even disclose profound meaning contained in the hardship. Even your gifts, opportunities, and blessings can remain concealed until you step back and see a much bigger picture.

As soon as you realize you’ve been looking at your life through a peephole, and discover the wealth of relationships, resources, and knowledge waiting for you on the other side, the door bursts open and you can finally begin to live your life with greater purpose, strength and fulfillment.

Individuals who suffer with broken lives can heal, and most wonderfully, they can thrive. I dare say that they even have the potential to thrive more gloriously than those who do not first endure such difficulty.

As you’ll soon see, Wendy Bunnell has hit the nail on the head with this groundbreaking collection of narratives, “Success Through Failing.” A captivating read, this anthology of raw and real true-life stories from twenty-five brave women provides that very perspective. It shows you where you and your life’s experiences fit in this world of pain and confusion, and inspires you to take your place, so you can ultimately discover and fulfill your own unique mission.

Sixteen years ago I experienced my first major breakthrough after enduring years of chronic failure; and there are few things more life-impacting than feeling the contrast between these two poles.

My husband and I had suffered through setback after setback, disappointment after disappointment, practically to the point of wondering what was going to hit us next. Not only have we been targets of thieves and victims of fraud, but we also experienced multiple job losses, significant medical crises, car accidents, late notices, overdraft fees, and of course, more debt than we could handle. We just couldn’t get in front of it.

A run of misfortune such as ours makes a person wonder if that’s just the way life is supposed to be.

In our attempt to solve the problem, at one point we held multiple jobs, attended school, and tried to build a business, all while raising our young family in a tiny basement apartment. I remember being thrilled to find leftover food in trash bins at office complexes where we performed midnight janitorial services. We drove a 1969 Volkswagen Beetle in the 1990s (before it was cool), and for a time we slept on a box spring without a mattress. We reluctantly received government assistance during my pregnancies, but never let go of the belief that there had to be a way for us to support ourselves.

We just wondered why we seemed to be the only people we knew who had to fight every day just to survive.

In our longing for a way out, we searched for a shortcut or windfall, which would balance out the injustice in one fell swoop, and finally make us equal to those who lived above our version of dysfunction.

Our search led us to various mentors, books, and over one hundred seminars. At one point, we flew across the country for training (on credit) with a can of corn in our backpack and a plan to sleep in the rental car all weekend. Unfortunately, when we got there, our credit card had no room left for the rental.

Our relationship was strained, our self-confidence waned, and our belief in better times ahead required regular resuscitation.

One thought kept us going though. It was the idea that by our thoughts we could change our lives.

After all, that’s where everything begins. No building is ever built without first a thought. Nothing is ever said without first thinking of the words. No crime is ever committed and no glory is ever achieved without first the idea of it being planted between the ears. So if this was true, then surely there had to be some way of thinking that would put our lives onto a better path. Thus, our quest centered on studying people who were living happier, more successful lives, and how they thought.

And when the breakthrough finally came, I had to share what we learned, because it all finally made sense. It’s what drove me to write three international best sellers and create experiences like Genius Bootcamp and the Mindset Mastery™ Program to bring others up to the 10,000-foot level. I wasn’t looking for a career; I really just wanted to be a mom. But waking up showed me that I had something valuable to offer because of my hard experiences, and so do you.

This kind of awakening is the same reason the authors in this book came together to share their stories with you now. Pay attention to how they think. You’ll find a common thread through each of their experiences: every single breakthrough occurred after a shift in their thinking. Watch for (and make note of) those subtle moments, as you read what is contained in the pages to follow.

I have tremendous respect for each of these women who faced and conquered insurmountable odds. These are remarkable women who were given some of the worst of the worst kinds of life challenges, and who somehow discovered within themselves that power, which likely would not have been uncovered in any other way.

The beautiful thing about this work is that it underscores and gives proof to the fact that every one of us has the same hidden spark, the same potential for greatness, the same access to unseen power that stands ready and eager to assist us, as soon as we’re ready to put it to use.

If you stop to think about it, there is no feeling without a change of state to some degree. Our skin doesn’t feel warmth unless it understands cold. Our face does not feel wind unless it remembers the sensation of still air. We can’t feel happiness until we’ve also experienced misery. There is no hope unless we’ve first felt despair. There is no joy without first sadness; and, as this work brilliantly illustrates, there can be no success without failure.

The truth is, no matter what you’re facing, there is no need to despair. Once you see what these women have seen, once you feel what these women have felt, once you awaken to what these women will reveal through their stories, and once you pause to consider the possibilities that await you, too, you will already be on your way to a life that is more happy, rich, and fulfilling than perhaps you have ever known before.

Click here to register for her LiveStreamed Summit February 4

Click here to get her book on Amazon

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The Truth About Failure

Have any of your recent decisions flopped?

I’ve had a few decisions flop of my own (particularly of the financial kind), and just when I thought I might have to throw in the towel, I learned the truth about failure and am now more passionate than ever about helping people prosper, even in spite of setbacks.

It all started in May 2007 when my 5 year-old ran inside the house yelling, “Mom, Bethany’s lips are blue!!!”

I heard the intense panic in his voice all the way upstairs in my office and I went numb. I’m not sure my feet even touched the floor as I flew down the stairs and out to the backyard with one intention: to see my three year-old (pictured above) well.

My seven year-old was by the side of the pool with her, having discovered her floating face-down in the deep end. He had already pulled her out all by himself and was waiting for me, hoping I could make everything all better.

She lay there, lifeless. Lips blue, no heartbeat, and not breathing. My nine year-old daughter was standing, crying, and I yelled at her to call 911. She froze, feeling the weight and seriousness of the situation. “Call 911! CALL 911!!!” I yelled again and again until she finally ran inside.

I had failed to keep my three year-old safe from this tragedy. Even though I had previously been successful at teaching her how to swim, on that day I failed to be watchful enough.

Subconscious programming took over. My first instinct was to pick my little girl up and lay her over my knee, upside down, as I patted her back. That’s what I had done for 15 years whenever my babies had trouble breathing, but of course it didn’t work, because she wasn’t choking. Strike two—I failed again. I had only one intention in mind: to see her well, and I made a mistake. I did the wrong thing. I failed.

Immediately I turned her over and laid her down again, letting her head hit the deck too hard in my frantic effort to try something else. Strike three—I blundered again. I hurt her in an effort to help her. I made a mistake. My intention was to see her well, but I failed again.

If she were awake, she may have complained that I had hurt her head. But there was no response. How I would have rejoiced to hear her complain!

Get oxygen to her brain; that’s what I had to do. But I hadn’t had CPR training since 1991. All those detailed, systematic instructions of what to do were forgotten in that moment. All I knew is that she needed oxygen to her brain until the paramedics showed up. I put my mouth over hers and gave her a breath. But it didn’t do anything except come rushing out of her nose. Strike three—once again, I messed up. I failed.

At least it helped me remember that I needed to plug her nose.

So the next time, I plugged her nose, gave her a breath and it filled her chest. Common sense told me that it wasn’t her chest that needed the oxygen, it was her brain; and since her silent heart was designed to do the job, I gave her three or four chest compressions, and another breath. Another round of compressions, and she finally began to revive.

She spent the night in the hospital and gratefully, she completely recovered.

There were, of course, lessons to be learned from this horrific experience. A shallow lesson learned was to be more watchful. Anyone could have learned that. A deeper lesson was to really comprehend on a whole new level how nothing material matters, so long as our family is in tact.

But a few months later, as I sat in a hotel room finishing up the creation of my 12-week home study course, I had an even deeper epiphany, which led me to conclude that I was meant to experience all of our financial setbacks, as well as this incident with my daughter, to learn a fundamental, universal truth that I had never really grasped before.

I thought back to our flopped investments, and I thought about my daughter. It was then that I realized this:

We all make mistakes. With good intentions we sometimes fail. Nobody achieves success at remarkable levels and long-lasting prosperity without experiencing some failure along the way.

How we respond to failure is really what determines whether or not we should expect to enjoy success.

We must learn from our mistakes and press on.

How many times did I fail with my daughter? At least four.

How foolish it would have been to stop even for a second to bemoan my failure!!! There was no time to stop and beat myself up!!!

Her life was on the line, and each failure provided valuable feedback to help me eventually get it right. If I had stopped to think about “poor me,” I could have missed the window of time that decides whether she lives or dies, is handicapped or well.

Failure? It’s nothing more than feedback.

Financial mistakes are no different. If you’ve experienced a few and are having trouble picking yourself up again, remember that your financial life is on the line. Take too long to bemoan your mistakes, or to point blame at others, and it could literally mean financial death or long-term handicap for you. Besides, when we blame others, we lose power to solve the problem.

It’s time to take a deep breath, take responsibility for where you’re at, learn from the experience, and get busy creating again. Prosperity is still yours for the achieving. When one door closes, another one always opens. But we only find it if we stop looking so longingly at the door that closed.

This story was derived from a lesson in phase 2 of my 12-week Mindset Mastery Program. If you’ve gained valuable insight from this story but are not ready to invest in the full 12-week Mindset Mastery program, check out our less expensive options here. Originally published October 20, 2007

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It’s not just about money, it’s about marriages, too

From one of our readers (I’ll call her Susan), in a two year-old Facebook thread:

(Original post) October 15, 2014

…I get that you can’t make people do things by visualizing it, as explained in Jackrabbit Factor. But can I manifest a really great marriage where I feel like my husband and I are parenting equally and both are happy with how we are raising our kids? I mean REALLY happy, not just compromising to keep the peace. Can I do it while imagining my current husband? Because I really want the father of my children to be my forever spouse, I just want to feel like a part of a team, not pioneering on my own.

(Today) January 18, 2017

Over two years later, I thought I’d leave an UPDATE on how this went for me! It took a lot more than I ever imagined, a lot of crud came up and it was really hard, the hardest thing I’d ever done. We worked through it all, we put a great deal of effort into self-evaluating and growing as human beings. It HURT!! We both went places in ourselves and our relationship we were scared as heck to go. I felt like I was going through hell, actually, and I often was pretty sure our marriage wouldn’t survive, but it did. We would come to the brink and always one of us would pull back and try again. But I can tell you honestly … all the pain was worth it. I get to enjoy the exact marriage I described above. When I was first typing it I thought it was a pipe dream. I honestly didn’t believe I could ever have it. Thank you everyone, especially Leslie Robertson Householder, your book changed our lives, and our children’s lives! This will impact them and how they show up in their marriages and how they parent their children. The ripple effects will echo for generations! I am overwhelmed with gratitude!! I have no words. Now we both, as a team, are working on the money, and it is rewarding and brings us closer, and I am not alone anymore. Thank you all!!

(a few minutes later…)

In my original post, I didn’t describe how awful my marriage was. It was really bad. Addiction, emotional and verbal abuse, that post was written through tears after an incident of physical abuse. I re-read it and it sounded so sweet and simplistic, but it was really, really, awful. It took a lot of courage to change it. But fortunately we both wanted a change. Now after much work, things are so different. We’re best friends! Thanks again Leslie!

(my reply)

Wow Susan, thanks for taking the time to update [and tagging me]. I don’t think I had seen your original post. Well done! And congratulations – it IS worth it – the pain and all, to appreciate the glorious victory. I love that it’s a relationship victory… so many people don’t realize the books aren’t just about money.

Read The Jackrabbit Factor – FREE

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And few there be that find this…

If you’re not as happy as you’d like to be, better opportunities or circumstances will bring you happiness, right?

Sure, maybe… but sometimes better opportunities and circumstances only come to you IF you’re happy.

That’s why I LOVE this video – check it out:

It’s also why I’m pleased to be partnering with Scott Wilhite, the writer and director of the video you just watched, to bring you a tool which will help train your mind to be happier.

After all, better opportunities and circumstances seem to follow those who have learned this skill – and yes, it is a learnable skill.

So if you are:

  • Tired of pretending life is as good for you as you make it seem
  • Wanting your public “Happy face” to be real and authentic
  • Waiting for things to get brighter
  • Wanting your life to be better

Stop waiting and start discovering again – because if life isn’t the way you want it, maybe you just you don’t know what you don’t know. There’s a skill-set you can learn, which literally flips the switch for a happier life. And no matter how happy you are right now, you can always be happier.

So let’s get happy!

Click here to learn more about the 10-day Stress-Free Mindset Workout

Click here to learn more about the 7 Core Skills of Everyday Happiness

All the best!

Leslie Householder

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