#18: Making Money from Home

We live in a society today where there are an unlimited number of ways to make money from home (pictured above is just one of those ways). This is my sister-in-law’s Etsy shop, which is really thriving! But no matter who you are, or what you do (or will someday do), if you’re a mom working from home, you face some unique challenges.

Class Description:

Women, especially moms, tend to struggle in business.

  • They get excited about a great idea, and then get hung up trying to figure out how to get their business off the ground.
  • They struggle with all the information that’s out there and trying to figure out what works, and what is just hype.
  • They struggle feeling like they need to have “permission” to invest in themselves and their dreams.
  • They struggle with finding the time they need to pursue their dream because they are so busy taking care of everyone else.

Does any of this sound familiar?  Well, this is typical of women who feel pulled to make a difference and build a business.

Then, how have some women been able to build a successful, fulfilling business AND have the freedom to be with their families?

Carol Lamoreaux wondered the same thing. So she decided to interview women who have built their dream business and chat with them to find out their secrets. In this podcast you can listen in on her interview with me, and learn more about:

  • How to get things done.
  • How to keep the important things important.
  • How to be your authentic self and just go for it!
  • How to keep yourself on track.
  • And more…

Show notes:

Rudy
Why I love my business: it lets me be mom at home
Mistakes women make in business

  • not being themselves (be a better version of yourself instead of someone entirely different)
  • stop trying to please everybody

When building a business, where do you spend most of your time? Can’t go wrong spending time daydreaming about the vision. You don’t have to go the distance, be smarter, faster, etc.
Rely on unseen help, partner with God
I can’t do it by my own strength
Visualizing doesn’t just keep you motivated, it causes lucky breaks and serendipitous experiences
Don’t become enslaved to your business
When lucky breaks become predictable instead of shocking

Productivity Waster: worrying
Feel stuck? serve someone
Even busy work is more productive than worrying
You can’t steer a parked car, and worrying parks your car
Serve someone without expecting a reward
Expand your knowledge or create something that expands someone else’s knowledge
Relationship Capital x Mental Capital = Financial Capital
If you’re worrying about something and then it happens, you’ve lived it twice
Don’t anticipate it

#1 Productivity Habit: visualizing the finished product
Clear vision ensures the greatest efficiency
Sometimes I can only see the next step so I go that far and trust that the step after that will be apparent when I get there
Husband wants to see the 10-20 year picture, but it overwhelms me (the what to do piece)
Favorite tool in my business:
Automation software

Strategies to stay on target:
Allow myself to get off target, seasons of imbalance
Sharon Lechter – standing over feet balance analogy
Be willing to swing
Airplane is off target most of the time, always course-correcting.

How do you fit personal development in?
Not the way we used to. A little bit of reading every day, and spending time with like-minded people who can help us remember who we are and where we’re trying to go.

Advice for someone just getting started: Believe in your dreams, they wouldn’t be there if they weren’t possible.
People will think you’re crazy.
Dog chasing rabbit analogy

When you see it, what to do next becomes instinctive.

What am I doing now that I’m passionate about?
I spent years teaching people how I built a six figure income giving my book away for free – so I’m passionate about giving away my free things 🙂

Free gift for listeners:

Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters – free download at http://www.hiddentreasuresbook.com

More about Carol Lamoreaux:

Need a new website?
Want your current website overhauled?
Need help managing your email autoresponder?
Doing a telesummit and need help managing the tech stuff?

Carol is here for you! ProMomSolutions specializes in building client-attracting and list-building websites and telesummit projects. I also help mompreneurs get rid of tech headaches, by taking it off your plate, so you can spend your valuable time on what you are good at.

Learn more about Carol at at https://promomsolutions.com/

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Finding Peace and Joy through the Storm

Serenity is life’s supreme accomplishment. It’s not about living life without storms, it’s about finding peace and joy in spite of them.

According to James Allen, serenity is the supreme accomplishment. In his classic essay, “As a Man Thinketh,” he describes how we shape our lives by our thoughts, and how we create a life of joy and bliss by thinking lawfully… or we create a life of misery through unlawful thoughts.

This means that true prosperity is built, not upon principles of competition and brute ambition, but upon principles of successful right-thinking.

Let’s take a look:

The Law of Polarity guarantees that contained in every adversity is the seed of equal or greater benefit, so by law, there is good to be found in all circumstances. That’s why joy and misery are simply NOT determined by what happens to you.

This is proven by the fact that there are rich people who are miserable, and poor people who are full of joy. By the same token, there are poor people who are miserable, and rich people who are full of joy.

In all areas of life, it comes down to this: “Unfortunate” people can be miserable, or they can be joyful, if for no other reason than because the law guarantees the potential exists for both poles in every circumstance.

(Clinical depression or other mental illness can make it nearly impossible for a person to find or access the seed of equal or greater benefit contained in their adversity. If you feel this way, watch this.)

Finding joy

Some of our greatest joys come from growing and becoming all we can be. Growth feels good. It’s what defines us as “living”. So, if the lack of money prevents us from doing that, then we should use the fundamental principles of prosperity to obtain plenty of money. If the lack of positive relationships prevents us from doing that, then we should use the principles to improve our relationships. We can even use the principles to improve our health: physical, mental, and spiritual.

How is this done?

We must first realize that our thoughts are the only domain over which we have ultimate control. We must also acknowledge the fact that all areas of our life are affected by our thoughts. Something happens, and so we respond to it. But how do we respond? It all goes back to how we thought about the situation, and the resultant actions spawned by those thoughts.

We cannot respond gracefully to setbacks if we do not first think graceful thoughts. We cannot turn a bad situation around unless we first think of ways to turn it around.

Success always begins in the mind. (And so does failure.)

That’s why I’m convinced that the most important thing we can do is learn to control our thoughts. True peace and tranquility can be obtained in no other way than through self-mastery:

SELF-mastery, not ENVIRONMENT-mastery.

So when we stop waiting for our circumstances to improve, and instead make peace with—in other words—find happiness with, the way things are NOW, then The Law of Cause and Effect kicks in, and the world begins to soften towards us.

Sometimes making peace with the mess we’re in now is the only way our circumstances will ever improve.

But it’s a scary thing, to make peace with disaster, to come to terms with ruin.

We’re so afraid to go there, because we think it means we’re giving up; and if we give up, then maybe it also means that all hope is completely lost.

But it’s just not true.

Remember, it’s how you THINK that determines what happens next. So if you THINK that making peace with disaster or coming to terms with ruin means irreversible failure, then you’ll never let yourself go there. And that’s what keeps a lot of people stuck.

But what if I were to tell you the truth: that happiness, progress, victory, and goal achievement are ALL waiting on the other side of your coming to terms with the mess you’re in, and finding happiness just the way things are? What if I told you that you should let go of the need for your environment, pocketbook, health, or relationships to change?

Do you dare go there?

What if nothing EVER changed? Can you imagine that? What if I were to tell you that the way things are, are exactly the way things will be for the rest of your life?

How much time would you spend grieving? How long would you let yourself be angry?

And then what?

After a period of grieving, you would be different. We are designed to recover. We were born with the capacity to adjust, and adapt to change. It’s a natural process, in fact. Once we let ourselves give up on waiting for things to change, we can fight it and prolong the pain, but ultimately our systems are physiologically programmed to cycle through all of the stages of grief until we come to acceptance.

The Stages of Grief:

  • shock or disbelief
  • denial
  • bargaining
  • guilt
  • anger
  • depression
  • acceptance/hope

And so we go there (if only just in our minds), and then here we are: having made peace with the way things are NOW.

This is where Nature, the world around us, notices we have changed, and because of the Law of Cause and Effect, it begins to soften towards us.

It’s about finding peace in the storm. Not peace without a storm, but peace in spite of the storm. Greater success then becomes a natural byproduct of our increased serenity.

Ironically, if your serenity is real, and you’ve genuinely given yourself to the process, then it won’t matter to you if you gain more success, because you’re already happy with or without it.

Besides, isn’t happiness the reason for our pursuit of success to begin with?

In conclusion, let me just say this:

We will continue to face challenges. It’s a necessary part of life, because without opposition we do not gain experience, strength, or wisdom. Adversity is a blessing, and when we begin to accept and embrace it for what it is, we begin to experience the peace and prosperity that is ours to enjoy. Life just gets better.

It reminds me of the story of the farmer who complained that everything was always bad. God thought, “You think you have it bad now? Hmmmm. I’ll show you! I’ll show you what bad really is!” and so things got worse for the farmer.

On the other hand, another farmer expressed gratitude for everything, even his hardships, even without understanding why the hardships were good. He prayed: “Thank you for the challenge, because it helps me grow.” God thought, “You think you have it good? Hmmmm. I’ll show you! I’ll show you what good really is!” and things only got better for the farmer.

So just remember:

The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success, his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom.”James Allen

For more on this topic, visit How to Surrender (and why you’d want to). Originally published July 29, 2006

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So… my husband lost his job

It’s been a very interesting New Year! As we said goodbye to 2016, there was a feeling in the air that change was coming.

So when my husband noticed an interesting position posted at (I’ll call it “Company B”, a vendor for his current employer), I told him: “You should look into it…”

Husband: “I was thinking about it…”

Me: “I’m wondering why you’re still standing there.”

Chuckling, he disappeared into his office. He messaged his friend (the man he knew from Company B), and based on their relationship, he fully expected an eager, enthusiastic response. But two weeks went by and there was no reply at all.

Oh well, we both thought. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.

Then on January 13th my husband came home early, at about 10:00 am. A forced smile held back a flood of emotions as he sat down and broke the news to me that he had just been let go.

I was surprised, but not really. We had been feeling change coming, but didn’t know this is what the change would be. Remembering the Law of Polarity, I said, “Okay. This is good!”

He took a deep breath and said, “I choose to believe this is going to turn into something amazing.”

I agreed.

Let me pause to provide a little bit of back story for context. Here’s the sum up:

  • 1991-1997 – Really hard financial struggles.
  • 2000 – Big breakthrough, tripled our income in 3 months, started teaching seminars on what we learned. I tell the story in this video.
  • 2004 – Moved to our dream home pictured here.
  • 2005 – Released my books The Jackrabbit Factor and Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters, international best-sellers (free downloads, by the way).
  • 2006 – Husband quit job to help me run the books/seminar business full time.
  • 2007 – Invested too much money in real estate at the TOP of the market.
  • 2008 – The real estate market tanked and we worked overtime trying to hold it all together.
  • 2009 – New breakthroughs – had our biggest month to that point: $43,000. Published the sequel, Portal to Genius to describe all I had learned since releasing The Jackrabbit Factor.
  • 2011 – Husband returned to the 9-5 workforce to heal our strained relationship and begin working a longer-term plan with a stronger foundation. I stepped back from doing the business full time to recover, heal, and focus m0re on the family (instead of speaking as much as I used to).
  • 2012 – Sold our dream home and started working the new plan.
  • 2015 – Finally dared to begin dreaming again.

So, for the last couple years we’ve just been plugging away at the long-term plan and have been feeling pretty great.

I tell you all THAT to tell you THIS:

2012 was probably one of the hardest years we’d ever had. Our finances were in the biggest mess they’d ever been in, and when the market plummeted, we couldn’t sell our investments, people who owed us money couldn’t pay, and because the ripple effect was devastating, we also became those people.

I watched my husband’s self esteem shrink to pretty much nothing and I was not able to encourage him. I myself was just as depleted, and instead of being his greatest support, I was openly critical. I was exhausted, embarrassed, disappointed, and angry that my business had gone from a hobby I loved (because of how it helped people), to something I hated (because it was now needed for paying gigantic real estate bills).

So I’ve seen him broken and depressed. I’ve seen him completely paralyzed and unable to think of solutions. I’ve seen him beat himself up because he knew better, but still couldn’t shake the darkness.

To illustrate where we were at and what we were feeling at the time, let me paint a picture. I wanted to approach our problems with the belief that anything was possible (I was still teaching it, after all), and that we could just apply the principles and turn things around. But I wanted him to solve it, because I was exhausted. However, while I knew he could apply Rare Faith to solve it, I struggled to believe that he would. I was too tired, and he was stuck in despair.

After years of running the business 12-16 hours/day while trying to homeschool 7 kids, I ran out of steam altogether. My husband was doing all he could to help build and support the systems that delivered our product, but didn’t have direct control over creating the paycheck like I did as the marketer. I berated him for letting me shoulder the burden of the bills, and he wondered why I kept jumping in all the time instead of trusting him t0 figure something out.

Ironically, I had encouraged him to quit his job five years earlier to help me with the business. But now I wanted nothing to do with it, and I wanted him to solve the problem—even though he no longer had his best source of income for solving it. Still, he kept telling me to slow down and let him handle it. I don’t know why it was so hard to let go.

(Actually, I do know why, but that’s a long story. Read The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Tried to Write for more about that).

Regardless, it was time.

So the next big bill came along, and I let him own it, no matter the outcome. I wasn’t even tempted to step in. But he couldn’t think of a single thing he could do to generate the money. I was too fatigued to implement any of my ideas, and all he could think of was to ask our Bishop for help. I thought, If this is the only thing he can think of, and if I’m really committed to letting him solve this, I need to support him in however he chooses to solve it.

Yes, this meant me showing up at the Bishop’s storehouse for a food order. We had plenty of long term food storage, but needed help with the weekly fresh foods.

Yes, this also meant running into people who knew my books and probably wondered why the Jackrabbit Factor lady needed welfare. I remember standing outside thinking, If I’m too proud to go in there and accept some help while we put our life back together and re-establish how we want our relationship to work, then I’m in a worse condition than I thought. 

Trusting the experience would be good for my soul, I took a deep breath and walked through those doors.

After a couple visits, consciously swallowing my pride each time, I told my husband, “I think you should take a turn.” I knew his pride was already shot full of holes, but facing humiliation head on can sometimes really shift things, as I discovered. After all:

  • Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
  • Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
  • Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

So yes. I told him, “I think you should take a turn.”

My sweet husband answered, “That’s the least I can do.”

In time, he swallowed his pride even more and took a 9-5 job at 2/3 his previous salary so we could rebuild with a little bit of stability and give me a break.

A paper sack on the path: something to be grateful for, even if it wasn’t the ultimate goal.

Fast forward to just a few weeks ago, when he lost that job of five years.

We very quickly learned how far we’ve come. It surprised us, how natural it felt to think optimistically, in spite of the blow. It shocked us that we were able to feel increasingly excited about all the possibilities—all the things we could do with our future.

His options were now completely wide open!

He allowed himself to feel relief that he didn’t have to be at that job anymore, and we looked for evidence that the Lord was not only aware, but probably orchestrating things to bring us to even greater opportunities and blessings.

Thus, we began talking about all the reasons this “setback” was good:

  1. With all the experience he had gained over the last 5-6 years, he was now more marketable than he had ever been before.
  2. He had been unhappy and thinking about leaving anyway, but didn’t feel like quitting was the responsible thing to do. In some ways, it makes it easier when they just decide for you that you’re done.
  3. Because they let him go, he received severance, which would not have been available to him if he had left on his own.
  4. We had been hoping for a chance to finish the online school we had been revamping, so that the online version of the Mindset Mastery™ program could finally re-open for students. We thought, maybe this will give us the opportunity to finish it! And, by offering a more affordable format to our readers, the potential revenue could be more than 4 times what he was making at the job.
  5. We’ve already been through MUCH WORSE, so we knew we were going to be okay, no matter how this was going to play out.
  6. We’ve been independent business owners before, and while we didn’t really want to depend on our business to pay the bills again, we knew it could if we needed it to. (The advantage and power of having previously taken action to build multiple streams of income).
  7. Our relationship has never been stronger, and we’ve never been so trusting of the principles at the same time (instead of one of us being up while the other is down, or vice versa). Not an easy thing to do! But now we know it’s possible. So facing this together was proving to be a deeply rewarding experience instead of the opposite, as we had experienced before.
  8. We had been listening to Dave Ramsey and trying to follow his advice for the last few years, so we had a decent emergency fund in place—not fully funded, but better than nothing. I have to say, it is SO TRUE—the promise that if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.

The promise was never, “If ye are prepared, ye shall not suffer.” It was that “if ye are prepared, ye shall not FEAR.”

Because truly, fear is the real enemy. When you do not fear, you qualify for blessings that cannot be given if fear is present:

“Behold and lo, mine eyes are upon you, and the heavens and the earth are in mine hands, and the riches of eternity are mine to give. Ye endeavored to believe that ye should receive the blessing which was offered unto you; but behold, verily I say unto you there were fears in your hearts, and verily this is the reason that ye did not receive.” (Doctrine and Covenants 67:2-3)

Needless to say, it only took a few minutes and we were feeling pretty excited and grateful for the blessing of his unexpected termination. Not without a little bit of apprehension, of course, but every time the worry crept in, we consciously kicked it out and focused on all of the happy possibilities.

Within 30 minutes of his termination, and just as we were talking about the possibilities, he received a reply from Company B’s representative: “Yes! I would love to talk to you about the position – how about breakfast on Tuesday at 8 am?”

Isn’t that interesting.

We were reminded about our experience at the restaurant in 2009 when we were at the end of our money, had no credit, and needed to find $15,000 in just a couple weeks. We had decided to forget about our immediate problems long enough to allow ourselves to get excited about what we’d be doing in ten years, after we had figured it all out. That’s when the waiter announced the meal was on the house, and that’s the month we ended up making $43,000.

We’ve learned that as long as we focus on where we’re going, and the happy outcome we expect to enjoy as though it’s already been accomplished, things just work out.

I dare you to test it.

Together, we’ve been testing it regularly now for about five years. As we raise our large family with all the unexpected expenses and needs that come with that, we’ve often wondered where the needed resources would come from. But as we strive to keep an optimistic, faithful approach, our needs have been met unfailingly, and without compromising our values.

It continues to prove itself to be a true and DEPENDABLE principle.

This job loss experience (okay I’m going to say it: he was fired!), is proving to be no different.

However, even though we were choosing optimism, we still didn’t know if the new job was going to work out, or if it would be the right next step for him to take. But the one thing we knew for sure: things always go better when we are optimistic.

Especially when we choose optimism and let go of our concern about how things will turn out. It’s a type of surrendering.

Related: How to Surrender (and why you’d want to)

By evening when it was time to tell the children, we had worked ourselves up into such a feeling of excitement that we told them it was time for a celebration! We announced that we needed to celebrate because Dad was just let go!

As he explained what had happened, he paused and said, “Wait…this happened on Friday the 13th… Seriously??” Everyone was like, WHOA… but then he added, “I thought nothing good was supposed to happen on that day!”

🙂

Originally, they were shocked, but after rehearsing to them all the reasons we believed this was happening because the Lord needed Dad more somewhere else, they understood.

We told them, “We have no idea how this is going to play out, but we trust that He is leading us. We just wanted you to understand why we might be saying no to some things, or eating food storage for a while until we get it all figured out.”

They were humbled, and supportive.

So anyway, instead of lamenting his loss (been there, done that, far too often, and for far too long…) we spent most of the day imagining the possibilities.

The next morning (Saturday), he had an idea come to him like a flash of intelligence, accompanied by a flood of details. (The Portal to Genius is real! You should really come experience it at Genius Bootcamp!) He immediately went to the computer and posted the following on a neighborhood Facebook group:

Yesterday my employment was terminated unexpectedly, so I’m now freed up to help you out. (Yay!)

I’m not looking for pity – I want to teach my seven children the value of work. I’m not too good for ANY honest work.

I have a little savings, so I’m ok for a little while, and I thought it would be fun to try an experiment.

So, here’s the deal: I will bring my own tools, and you supply the materials. I do work for you, you pay me whatever you feel it was worth – no questions asked.

Yep, simple as that. I have faith in God and in the humanity of people, and want to show my four boys that they aren’t too good for any honest work, and that as they rely on God and go to work with the resources they have available to them, their needs will be met.

I believe in Win-Win. If you don’t win, neither will I!

Need something fixed or created? I can help!

  • Home repair
  • Sprinkler repair
  • Furniture repair
  • Welding
  • Metal Signs (cut on a CNC machine)

I LOVE to build, repair, and create things. I’ve rehabbed homes over the years (outside of my normal computer software job), and I’m good at it. I can do just about anything, but if what you need isn’t something I am good at, I’ll let you know.

Disclaimer: I am not a contractor and I don’t have a license. I don’t have a business entity for this, and I’m not bonded nor insured, so I can’t do the jobs that require such. Also, if I get more requests than I can handle, I’ll choose the projects that seem like the best fit for my skills.

(My wife doesn’t know I’m doing this – hope I won’t be sleeping in the doghouse for it, haha)

Let’s have some fun and see where this goes!

PM me with your needs and I’ll let you know if it’s something I could do a good job with. I’m available to start today!

Immediately requests began to come in. He was out working that very day, and every day thereafter while he waited to see what might come of the job opportunity with Company B. One of our teenage sons even went with him as an apprentice (never let a good opportunity be wasted, right?)

He laid carpet, built cabinetry, fixed sprinklers, hung shelves, and performed a myriad of miscellaneous handyman tasks. Gratefully, he brought home some pretty good money, which put us ahead.

Quite a contrast from the last time life needed him to get creative.

My husband felt happy and free, and was having more FUN than he’d had in a long time. Yes, the concern would creep in sometimes, but we just kept replacing it with action, and optimism.

More than once he told me that he felt like he wasn’t just finding his feet; he had been pushed out of the nest, and was finding his WINGS.

Can I just say? We LOVE the feeling that the Lord is actively involved in our life, and we LOVE the opportunity to show our kids a better way to respond to setbacks than what they saw last time.

What a wonderful opportunity it has been, to discover for sure that we ARE different than who we were, even just 5 years ago. There’s no way we could have known this about ourselves without the opportunity to face something “awful” like this.

So the Tuesday interview went well. As did the Thursday follow-up. He was offered a position on Friday, but felt like he should negotiate a better package. Calming our nerves all weekend, by the next Tuesday they had come to an agreeable offer. It provides a higher salary than his last job, a wider array of potential opportunities in the future, the opportunity to work from home 3 days a week, and a little bit of travel.

A few other interesting things that convince us there was a divine plan behind it:

  • The man whose position he’s filling resigned the same morning my husband was fired.
  • Because he found another job so quickly, the severance pay helps us very quickly achieve one of our goals that we thought would take much longer.
  • Through a conversation because of his job loss with another former employee, my husband learned about a job opportunity that was exactly what my daughter has been looking for. She was hired and started that job two days ago.
  • And a whole lot more that I’m not going to take the time or space to explain here.

I’m just here to say that as scary as change can be, there’s no question that the Lord is mindful of ALL of us, and orchestrates things for our good when we do our best to stay faithful. Believe in good things! Optimism opens doors to opportunities that may otherwise remain hidden.

So if you’re feeling worried or stuck now, just imagine what you’ll be doing (and especially how you’ll be feeling) after you’ve finally solved the problem. Live THERE for a while, refuse to worry, have Rare Faith, and watch your world shift to a better place.

In gratitude,

Leslie

PS. If you struggle to have faith in the middle of a crisis, read Hidden Treasures: Heavens Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters – (it’s FREE!)

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#16: How to Surrender (and why you’d want to)

With effective goal achievement, there comes a point where it’s time to “let go”, or “surrender”, because if you try to force it, your persistence can backfire. This podcast is an excerpt from a personal coaching call with me and my client, who graciously allowed this to be made public so that it can help others who have similar questions.

My client had seen God’s hand in her life before, and acknowledged that He has ensured her needs have been met many times. But she worried:

What if this is the first time it doesn’t work out?
What if I’ve used up all the grace tickets?
What if I just keep busting myself up against the laws?
What if everything that matters to me falls apart?

Discover the answer to these questions and many more in this episode of the Rare Faith Podcast.

Related: Human Empowerment in Perspective

Show Notes:

The misunderstood principle of letting go or surrendering
Giving up – not to the enemy but to God
Examples of a pattern: JS in the grove ready to abandon himself to destruction, Peter using Rare Faith to walk on water but still needing a rescue, Alma snatched from burning.
There is a time and a place for giving up.
Surrendering doesn’t mean do nothing, it’s letting go after you’ve tried everything and it didn’t work
I want to be led. I don’t want to impose my agenda. I want total faith.
Choosing rock bottom
Being clear on how you want to FEEL
What is your time frame to accomplish that? By NOW
Are you willing to RECEIVE? Snarky.
Beating myself up for my inability to receive
What if the thing you want is a few years down the road?
If I can be guaranteed that, then I can hang in there.
Labor – what kept me going was knowing that it WILL end. I can endure anything if I know it will end soon.
Get out of your own way. What does that even mean??
The struggles are not for nothing. It IS going to happen, no doubt
You and me hanging out in heaven saying, remember when? That was HARD! We will sit in a garden somewhere…
You found out it would take 15 years. How would you tackle today’s tasks?
With relief.
If you don’t want to think about heaven, think about 15 years from now, reminiscing back.
Goals written in present tense, vs. goals in past tense
Restaurant story
Get comfortable with a longer term plan, if for no other reason than to keep you out of anxiety. If that’s all it’s for, it’s enough of a reason.
Why I love Dave Ramsey
Yes you can triple income in a short time, but it’s important to also live by the law of the harvest and develop habits and accept the slower processes
Quick success? If they have not also established some long term habits, they will fall.
Hustle fatigue
Next goal: to know that you have sufficient
Time for your loved ones, time to serve.
When you feel anxiety:
1) remember, you’re on the X year plan
2) don’t be afraid to find out exactly where you’re at, listen to Dave and come up with a plan
Why I love KLove

 

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How many goals at a time?

One of my readers recently asked: “Can you have more than one goal at one time? Or is it too overwhelming for you and your mind?”

That’s a really good question.

The length of what follows reminds me of Blaise Pascal, who is known to have said (in French), “I have made this [long] …because I have not had time to make it shorter.” I understand, Blaise. I understand. Anyway, here we go:

You can have as many goals as you want, but there should be an ultimate overall goal that steers the ship and helps you determine all the other goals you should set along the way.

Before I talk about focusing on one versus juggling several, there are three things to consider:

  • What is my overall goal in life? How do I define success?
  • Do each of the smaller goals contribute to my overall goal?
  • Which goals must wait until the more urgent, priority goals are accomplished?

Other goals may help you reach the main goal, or if you’re not careful, they can distract you from it. Contradictory goals will cause you to spin your wheels.

Every one of your goals may be important and good, but timing is important. When I was first married, it was my goal to stay home from work when we began our family. So without knowing how we’d do it, and expecting a windfall miracle to make it financially possible, I quit work and stayed home with my baby for that first year.

A miracle showed up, but it wasn’t the one we were looking for. It showed up as hardships, debt, and my husband eventually losing his job. It would be another decade before I’d look back with gratitude for the struggles we endured. The “miracle” was that God believed we could, and would, handle our mess and that eventually we’d rise above it, solve the problem, and share what we had learned with others.

The goal to stay home with the children never changed. To me, that was one important representation of what success meant to me. But our order of priorities had to change for a while before we could earn the privilege of having a mother in the home.

My ultimate goal, though, had more to do with how I wanted my LIFE to turn out when all was said and done. Part of that vision included how I’d like my children to turn out. A family rich in relationships and fulfilment better defines success to me than a fat checkbook. But watch how this all fits together:

As I’d picture how I wanted my children to turn out, it made me want to be the one to have the most influence on them as they grew up, which (for me) translated into wanting to be home with them.

In order for me to be home with them (and not be thinking about money stresses all the time), I desperately wanted to develop a passive income, which would be there whether or not something happened to my husband, or if I became physically unable to work.

We set dates for our lifestyle goals based on what we wanted in place by the time they were teenagers. Instead of waiting until they were teenagers for me to make a contribution, I worked at odd hours with piles of laundry all around, learning real estate strategies, stock market strategies, book writing and site development skills, typing one-handed with a baby on my lap and preschoolers on the floor with cut-up paper and coloring books strewn around, so that I’d be free by the time they were adolescents to finally give them the kind of deep engagement and focus they’d need me to give — a different kind than what toddlers need.

Did I ever feel guilty about doing more than June Cleaver did? Yeah, sometimes. Until a certain Bible passage helped me feel a little better about it. It is the definition of a “virtuous woman” from Proverbs 31 and goes like this:

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She ariseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard… She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle… She maketh herself coverings of tapestry… She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant… She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her…”

A virtuous woman sounds busy doing many, many things, including working for financial gain. This verse helped me feel better about burning the midnight oil now and then to make my own contribution to our family.

Still, even now, every monetary goal I set is always for the primary purpose of being free to focus on raising my children the way I want, which is for the purpose of helping them enjoy fulfilling, happy lives as adults, which is for the purpose of me coming to the end of my life pleased with the contribution I made while I was here.

Every goal I set will fit into the big picture of life success as I see it, somehow. If it doesn’t, then I know that I will NOT be passionate enough about it to make it happen.

Setting a goal to own a Rolls Royce will have no power for me because it makes no contribution to the driving purpose for my life. Is a Rolls bad? No, it’s beautiful! But I know myself well enough to know that it isn’t something for which I’d go through the refiner’s fire.

Even if I pictured myself in a Rolls, feeling grateful and so forth, I’d never take the “action” I’d need to “receive” it. I just wouldn’t care enough to make the effort. And all the visualization and feeling in the world wouldn’t cause it to appear in my driveway without MY firm INTENTION to make it happen.

So, set as many goals as you’d like, and know that you will not focus on all of them at the same time, or with the same intensity. You must put them in priority order and tackle them with laser focus one at a time. You’ll create a goal statement for each one of them (as described in The Jackrabbit Factor). And then you’ll pick the one that is most important and urgent, and you’ll spend your energy (mental and otherwise) on making daily progress toward its accomplishment.

If your LONGEST term goal is clear, then you’ll INSTINCTIVELY know which one needs your attention first.

The other goals will be written and posted where you’ll see them now and again, but your main focus is on the ONE. Sometimes stuff shows up out of nowhere to take you closer to one of your non-priority goals, while you spend all your energy in another area. It’s really cool when that happens. You are rewarded for your determination one way or another.

To focus only on one goal is not to say that, in any given day, you will not work on more than one. But no matter which goal you’re working on, at that time be 100% focused on it, like a laserbeam.

A lightbulb will brighten a room, but a laserbeam will cut through steel like a hot knife in butter. Both are good, but only laser focus has the power to accomplish the tough stuff.

Personally, I’m not so good at keeping to routines where I give a certain part of my day to different goals like that. It’s hard for me to shift gears at the drop of a hat and switch my focus. For me, I trust that my “temporary seasons of imbalance” are just that: temporary.

If you have a lot of wonderful goals in mind but you are not truly focused on any one of them, you are like a gently shining lightbulb. Plants will grow, and you’ll keep people from stubbing their toe, but no steel will bend for you.

What if there are too many things that are urgent? What if your mind is in a fog because there are too many demands bombarding you?

That’s when you really need to put it all on paper to get it OUT of your head, so you can look at all of it objectively, without emotion. Relax, and you’ll instinctively know which one needs your attention first. Pay attention to your gut feeling, and go for it. Trust that things will all work out if you just keep doing your best. If something falls through the cracks, be at peace knowing you’re doing your best, and that it’s all perfect just as it is. There is good that will come from even the failings.

By putting your task list on paper, you’ll find that the “problem” and the “overload” is really just in your head. You’ll see that the list is just ink on paper. There really is no problem there. It’s just data. It is what it is, and no amount of worry or panic will make it any better. The solution will only be able to reach your consciousness when your mind is relaxed, at peace, hopeful and expectant about finding the solution.

Prosper on! Originally published on July 14, 2007

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Finding Hope In Spite of Appearances

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When you understand the laws of thought, it is possible to look at life’s problems and actually feel good about them. There are rewards for those who do this.

Hey there – this is going to be one of my deeper posts. I want to speak specifically to any of my readers who are dealing with something especially heavy.

Now, I’m about to throw some deep philosophical stuff at you. Heavy things merit a heavy discussion. So to begin with, read these next lines very carefully, one at a time. Consider each of them, and see if they ring true to you:

  • Courage does not eliminate fear, but knowledge does.
  • Awareness of truth is the power behind a rare kind of faith.
  • Lack of awareness is like darkness. But darkness is merely the absence of light. Since a dark room can be illuminated with just a tiny light, it doesn’t take much to make a big difference.
  • The right kind of knowledge has the same effect on a doubting or fearful heart or mind. It doesn’t take much to make a big difference.

So, if you feel smothered in the darkness of fear and uncertainty, it only takes a little bit of knowledge, and the fear shrinks away like darkness in an illuminated room.

As fear is replaced with faith, it very naturally changes the way you feel. And when your feelings change, the nature of your surroundings begin to shift ever so slightly as well.

With the right knowledge bringing you an increase of faith, people naturally and unconsciously begin to respond to you differently. Someone who has not had two words for you before may suddenly feel compelled to talk with you, and perhaps facilitate a connection that helps you reach your goal. Or, maybe your altered mood causes you to go somewhere you didn’t feel like going before, and that thing you need to be able to reach your next goal is found there.

How it all comes together will likely be a mystery until after it’s all said and done. But for now, you have control over how you feel about what’s going on. If you don’t think so, add some knowledge. Just remember: how you feel will cause you to make choices that either take you closer to the goal, or farther away from it.

Faith is feeling “hope” and “expectation”. Both are necessary for success.

I understand it is difficult to have faith when everything around you appears to be all wrong. That’s why I invite you to read Hidden Treasures.

Hidden Treasures gives you the knowledge I’m talking about. it answers the question: “How can I have faith and genuinely feel good about all the bad stuff I have to deal with?”

Read it FREE here.

Although my story in the book is presented through the lens of my own religious/spiritual background, it speaks to people of all faiths. It’s been gratifying over the last 10 years to receive positive feedback both from members of my faith, as well as other Christian, Jewish, Buddhist readers and more. Even my non-religious (but spiritually minded) readers tell me it has made a huge difference in helping them change their lives.

We all are trying to live according to truths and principles. Happiness depends on it, and so does prosperity.

Hidden Treasures gives you 7 powerful truths that help you live by faith more effectively. It provides the knowledge that eradicates the darkness of fear and uncertainty, and it shows you exactly why you can be grateful and excited about your hardships, right now.

Skeptical? I challenge you to read it without feeling better. See if you can read it without feeling more faith. See if you can read it without experiencing real change in your life.

Read the book, and then just go about your life as normal. You’ll discover that the same activity with higher awareness always yields better results.

Get your FREE downloadable copy here.

If you’ve already read it, please consider sharing this article and invitation with someone you know who could really use a dose of hope. Originally published Jul 14, 2007

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Think Prosperously, Behave Frugally

Positive Thinking Tip: optimism will lead you to financial solutions, but be smart and live responsibly in the here and now.

Here is a question from one of my readers that I thought was worthwhile to share with  you.

Question:

How do you think, especially speak, feel, and act as though you are rich, and…

A. not spend money you don’t have?

B. still give positive responses as though the money is here now to people asking you to do things you don’t have the money for???

How do you “feel” like the money is here now, when you see something you want to buy, and can’t responsibly do that?

My Answer:

You can accomplish the “feel” task during a quiet moment of meditation – a finite length of time. Sometimes I’ll just go lay down for a nap and let myself daydream and feel the abundance I’m hoping for, and allow my mind to experience its reality, even if it is just for a few minutes. That’s planting the seed, and turning it over to the subconscious.

Then when you’re back to life as usual, behave responsibly. Say no when an irresponsible purchase is tempting you. Determine the difference between an irresponsible purchase and one that may lead you to the solutions you are searching for.

If you have planted the seed, then you will be led to opportunities, and there may be a twinge of fear in taking advantage of them, but it is a different kind of fear than the kind that accompanies frivolous purchases. Deep down, if you have a clear vision of where you ultimately want to be, you’ll know the difference. If it’s the kind of fear that prevents your progression, then it is worth facing. If it is the kind of fear that protects you from making a mistake, then pay attention to it.

How can you know the difference? If you spend the time visualizing and feeling like I’ve suggested, then when the fear comes, you’ll know in your gut which kind it is.

Out of all I’ve just said, the part that most people will NEVER do is to take the time to daydream, visualize, and FEEL, and approach it like a task on their to-do list. Do it, then check it off, and watch for the opportunities to come. Do it, and notice how much more clearly it is to discern a distraction or trap from an opportunity.

When you get confused or fearful, do it again, check it off, and move your feet forward, expecting clarity to come as you go.

Be smart with your spending, only live abundantly in your mind, enjoying the “experience” of virtual prosperity, but then live life as normal. In time, circumstances will re-arrange themselves to open the right doors and bring you the right opportunities, until reality can reflect the images of your thoughts.

Above all, stick to sound principles. We got caught a big debt trap several years ago even after learning these principles, because we got too excited about changing things too quickly. It was a painful lesson to learn, so now I discourage you from using credit to purchase my trainings or products. I’ll tell you instead to read The Jackrabbit Factor FREE, and do what it teaches to obtain the money you need.

I strongly advise you to give 10% to charity and save 10% of your earnings as well, no matter what you make. If you can’t, then get another or better job, or cut back on your lifestyle. Yes, I just said that.

Build a solid financial foundation. Do the hard things now on the way to your dream. Establish sound financial habits that will follow you into prosperity. If you are careless with the little money, you’ll be careless with the big money. It happened to us. It’s pretty much a law of nature: human nature.

Pay attention to the market trends and don’t get caught up in the frenzies. There will always be ups and downs. And ups. If you missed a window of opportunity, just put your life and house in order so that you’ll be ready for the next one. Practice delayed gratification.

You might be surprised to know that we are not paying for our children’s educations – we’re teaching them that they will need to earn the money or get scholarships. We are teaching them to avoid debt like the plague, even for their education. So far so good. I hope they stick to it, even if it takes them longer to finish. I tell them to sacrifice, work, think long term, and watch the opportunities come. I believe God honors and blesses those who practice wisdom.

He also lets us do stupid things, so trust me – be wise. Be the weird one in your circle of friends who doesn’t have all the luxuries, because you’re working a long-term plan. As the old adage goes, the last shall be first and the first shall be last.

All the while, practice the principles of right-thinking. Have faith. Think optimistically. Create a vision for where you’re going. Trust in the Law of Rhythm, and the Law of Polarity, and the Law of Vibration, especially. Read all about these laws FREE, here.

When you’re out shopping with your kids and they beg you to buy something, don’t say, “I can’t.” Instead say, “I choose not to spend my money on that.” Speak to empower. Even if you can’t afford it, your mind will hear and feel the response  “I choose” differently than “I can’t.” And it time, you’ll see the effects. When the words you speak are in line with correct principles, your life can’t help but begin to move in a better direction. Originally published September 12, 2006

Related: To Debt or Not To Debt. Learn how the way you feel about the purchase can also affect the overall outcome.

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These Prosperity Laws Aren’t Working!

Here’s a question I received that I think is worth discussing. The reader said:

“Since reading the Jackrabbit Factor and feeling elated, it seems that our finances have gone down the tubes. I have not been able to pay bills on time, money is taking longer than usual to come in, we have bounced checks, etc. I know right now I am dwelling on the negative, but wondered why this is happening just at the time that I feel I have discovered the answer?”

Here’s my reply, somewhat modified:

When you’re aiming for big changes, it’s normal to face equally big setbacks, which test your commitment to achieving the goal. Success does not come as a result of what happens to you, but from thinking right in the face of adversity; and as we know, there will be opposition in all things.

Related: Do the challenges EVER stop?

In other words, the adversity IS the opportunity. Think right, right NOW, and you will unlock the door to greater success than would have been possible without the adversity.

Stop and ponder that one for a moment.

The good news is that the Supply is unlimited. We must remember that all things come from Original Substance and nature is abundant. Prosperity abounds!

So if we experience “lack”, it is not because there is lack; there is only abundance. In this very moment, you have all you need. It is when we think ahead to future needs that we look at our “limited” supply and worry that it won’t last. (‘Future’ meaning 5 minutes from now or 50 years from now, the principle is the same.)

In this moment, we can be grateful.

We have the air we need to breathe, a heart that pumps oxygen to all of our limbs, stores of energy to keep our heart pumping; yes, in this moment we should be calm and grateful that God has supplied us with everything we need here and now.

No matter what anticipated troubles may come tomorrow, in this very moment, God has provided abundantly. To worry is to resist a situation that hasn’t even happened yet. As you may have heard, that which we resist, persists. Consider Mark Twain’s comment, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

When we worry, we cut off our mind to possible solutions.

Prosperity becomes elusive and hidden. We must relax, hope, expect, and look for the solution which, by law, must exist. Every problem has a solution, by the law of polarity.

Challenges are healthy for us, because they require us to stretch our limits and grow. We can pause and be grateful for the challenge, because it turns our thoughts toward our Father in Heaven. Anything that does that is a blessing, for we are promised that as we draw near unto Him, he will draw near unto us.

Let me share a segment from another powerful book that takes a Christian approach to the law of attraction:

“’Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity’ is true, for when man reaches his limit, he hopelessly stops his efforts. When he relaxes from his strain, the Law has a chance to reply to his desires, and things begin to change for him…

“The mind is like a sponge. We squeeze it hard with our anxious thoughts, but not until we can release the pressure and allow the sponge to take its normal shape can it become absorbent and receptive again.” (“Working with the Law”, p 82-83, Raymond Holliwell)

Finally, an understanding of the seven laws is imperative when things don’t appear to be going the way you expected. The whole objective is to “think right” when things go wrong, because if you do, you can be sure that the best possible outcome will be yours, and will soon enough be reflected in reality. Feeling gratitude now, no matter what is going on in your life, is the quickest way to flip the switch and prepare your mind for answers.

For more about what to think when you don’t know what to think, read Hidden Treasures (it’s free).

Prosper on! Originally published Apr 19, 2007

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Nix the Scorekeeping

If you’re married and working toward a goal, sometimes living the principles can be especially challenging because deep down you have certain expectations of what your spouse is supposed to be doing.

Heck, it can be hard enough achieving goals with all the lofty expectations of what YOU are supposed to be doing!

At one time I had to come to terms with the fact that I was in another one of those “temporary seasons of imbalance” and decided to just hunker down and get through it. My husband agreed, and was there to support me, filling in gaps wherever he could, rather than getting frustrated that there were gaps to be filled.

What an example. I have often struggled to reciprocate that same kind of support.

He and I run through life at a different pace. I’m a sprinter, while he’s a distance runner. I burn out, while he steadily plugs along. So there have been many, many times when our mutual goal setting efforts have ended in shipwreck.

I’ve pondered this dilemma deeply, because it’s common among many couples. I’ve seen more than one relationship crumble under the weight of such differences. Sometimes I think it’s a wonder that we’ve made it through those times with our marriage still in tact.

Marriage requires adjustments and compromises. It might even require unplanned course-changes, which is why it’s important to establish your priorities early with clarity and resoluteness.

I’ve abandoned goals that threatened to compromise my top priority: my marriage covenant. My husband has abandoned goals if they’ve put a strain on our relationship. I’m not saying that is good, bad, or indifferent; I’m just saying that when your values, priorities, and ideals are in stone, then decisions, sacrifices, and disappointments can eventually be resolved with greater serenity.

(I understand some marriages need to end. But that’s a topic for another day, and probably for someone more qualified to address.)

Marriage also requires patience, and an understanding that we all have ups and downs (Law of Rhythm). Most of the time, I was up while he was down, or I was down while he was up.

That’s life.

So in your marriage, even if you’re both working hard to learn and understand the laws of success, you’ll learn them and apply them at different paces and in different ways.

When you’re in the groove, your spouse may struggle. When you’re spouse is on a roll, you may struggle. How, then, can you succeed as a couple if you can’t seem to get it right at the same time?

Count your blessings if the above description sums up your relationship. The Law of Rhythm states that everything in life is cyclical. We will have up days and we’ll have down days. When you’re on an up, go ahead and get a whole bunch of stuff done! Take advantage.

When you’re down, go with it and let it serve its purpose (as described in Hidden Treasures), with an expectation that your turn for an up day is on its way.

Don’t allow yourself to feel frustrated when the two of you can’t seem to make quantum leaps forward together. It is GOOD that you’re on different tracks, because if you both were to crash at the same time, who’d be there to pick up the pieces?

Allow yourself to feel the joy that comes when you say, “It’s okay, you can have a down day, and I’ll carry the torch until you come around.”

Imagine how that would make your partner feel. You’ve just turned a frustration into a blessing, which is a key skill for building a mindset for success. The goals you strive for will continue to move toward you as you show compassion to your spouse in his or her valley, and refuse to keep score.

Take responsibility. The minute you begin to fume and fuss over what someone else is doing or not doing, you lose power. Instead of passing judgment, be grateful for his/her companionship, and the opportunity you have to grow through the experience.

Find the good. Think on the positive aspects of your spouse. Think and speak about the good things, and the good will grow. Don’t expect everything to be fixed overnight. Some of our challenges have taken ten, even twenty years to resolve. What kept us going was a common belief that we’d eventually figure it all out. Some days I wasn’t so sure, and on other days I’m certain he wasn’t so sure. But there has always been at least one of us believing, or when perhaps if we were ever both in doubt, we didn’t speak of it because failure was not an option.

Move forward with faith, and if you are struggling now because of a conflict with your spouse, count it a blessing (Law of Polarity) and start looking for the seed of equal or greater benefit contained in the adversity.

“Never let a problem to be solved” [or a goal to be achieved] “become more important than a person to be loved.” ~ Thomas S. Monson

Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. You don’t ‘divi’ up the responsibilities and then critique your partner’s performance on his/her share. It’s a 100/100, or perhaps even a 110/110 proposition.

Do what you can do, even if it means sharing the other person’s load. Even if it means carrying the whole load for a while. Sometimes it may feel like 150/20. Maybe it feels that way most of the time. But if you try hard enough, and are willing to see it, I’ll bet you can remember at least once when it was 10/130. We all take turns, even if sometimes that turn goes on for years.

Whatever the numbers are, how you let yourself feel about carrying more than your “fair” share may well determine your future success. It also may very well determine how quickly things shift.

But if you begrudge the load, you rob yourself of the joy AND potential prosperity (monetary or otherwise) that is waiting for you on the other side of the adversity.

Remember, through natural law, God’s universe responds to the feelings you emit. So for now, try feeling grateful that you are able to help today. What if, for some reason, you couldn’t help, even if you wanted to?

Things could always be worse (Law of Relativity).

So don’t keep score. Inevitably, there will be a day when you are the one who needs to be carried. Serve with joy here and now, sacrifice whatever is necessary in the short term to make it work, and you’ll both reap great benefits soon enough.

Nag not. Be patient. Allow those you love to grow at their own pace. I know, it may delay the prize, but you may discover that the prize without your relationships in tact may not be a prize at all.

And if your spouse isn’t on board in the least with the things you’re learning, you can still prosper; you can still succeed. Have faith in God’s ability to show you how to achieve your dreams without compromising your values, even if you’re the only one who believes in them.

As Wendell Phillips said, “One, on God’s side, is a majority.”

Related: What if My Spouse Doesn’t Think Positive? Originally published March 13, 2007

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Getting Out of Debt

If you’re having trouble staying out of debt, try this on for size:

Perhaps getting out of debt should not be the goal, but something you do on the WAY to a goal.

If getting out of debt is your goal, you may inadvertently condition your subconscious mind to work continually on filling the proverbial hole. When it sees that the goal is nearly accomplished, it can sometimes automatically look for more “holes” to fill. With constant thoughts about debt, and especially with the exhilaration that comes from paying it off,  you can literally train it to pay off debt like a machine.

But when you get to the point that there is no more debt to pay, and if there is nothing else in mind that has already carried more emotion and focus, your subconscious mind panics. It doesn’t know what to do next. So by default, it helps you out – by making sure you never run out of debt to pay!

Think about it.

More debt, complimentary of your own subconscious mind. By your own training!

Without living by effective goal setting principles, and understanding the importance of word selection in your goal statement and how to give your subconscious mind commands that won’t backfire, reaching your ultimate goal can be very difficult.

Reduce expenses where you can, look for ways to make more money, and consider using a percentage approach to your debt reduction strategy. When you start earning more than your basic expenses require, decide on a percentage of the excess to be applied toward your debt, and another percentage to be applied to your other ‘after debt’ goals. Then, as you focus on achieving the fun or meaningful goals, your debt elimination goals will happen automatically.

For more on this topic, read The Jackrabbit Factor.Originally published August 28, 2005.

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