What You Do to Yourself Sometimes Can’t be Undone on Your Own

Positive thinking tip: Success is not a measure of how many problems we avoid; it’s a measure of how well we respond to the problems we have.

Jacob (18)

I was visiting my in-laws one evening when I signed in to my Facebook account and saw this post on my newsfeed. It was from my 18-year-old son. He said:

I just walked past my parent’s room and heard my 4 year old sister Sarah crying. My parents are gone so I thought she was in there waiting for Mom to get home. I tried to open the door but it was locked, so when I got into the room with a key and asked what was wrong, I saw that she had tied the ribbon of her dress to their bed. As I was struggling to untie it she said:

“I’na good tyer.”

Then she came and asked me, “Wanna know why I tied myself to the bed?”

I asked, “Why?”

“Because Bethany was being mean to me.”

That was the only explanation she gave me.

I guess the moral of the story is don’t be mean to your little siblings or they might lock themselves in a room and tie themselves to furniture with knots that they can’t undo on their own.

As my sweet little Sarah demonstrated, sometimes it’s our reaction to life’s disappointments and frustrations that becomes the real source of our problems. We only complicate matters when we react without calculated control over our thoughts.

The fact is, life will disappoint us, and frustrations are inevitable.  Our power to rise above such problems lies in how we respond to them.

The larger the problems, the greater the opportunity.

Bethany (7) and Sarah (4)

I echo my son’s moral – and would like to apply it to the world of adults:

If life is mean to you, don’t lock yourself in a room and tie yourself to furniture with knots that you can’t undo on your own.  

However, if you do find yourself “tied up”, pat yourself on the back for being a “good tyer” (be kind to yourself!) …and get help. You don’t have to stay stuck forever!

To see how I can help, and to learn how to choose your reactive thoughts carefully, visit ProsperTheFamily.com.

Share

Thanksgiving and The Land That I Love

Here in America we set aside a little time each year to gather with our families and acknowledge the bounteous blessings that God has given us. No matter how hard life may seem sometimes, there’s always something to be grateful for.

Today, I’m especially grateful for America, my country. I love America. I love its history and the principles upon which it was founded. I’m grateful that my husband has been developing a passion for finding inspired ways to help preserve the freedoms we enjoy, and restore some of the freedoms that have been lost. You can help, too, by understanding the bigger picture of what’s going on, finding out why we don’t need to despair, and discovering what concerned citizens can do to honor the founding fathers’ dream peacefully and with optimism for our own future.

Here’s a message from my husband, Trevan:

If you are interested in the principles of Freedom, Prosperity, and/or Peace, then you’ll probably agree that the most important step we can take is to educate ourselves and others about what true freedom is, how it is achieved and maintained, and what we can do to restore America, peacefully.

I LOVE America.  I LOVE our Founding Fathers and I have confidence in the vision they had for America.

Ask yourself:

  1. Do you love America? (Do you REALLY Love America and what it stands for?)
  2. Do you LOVE the Founding Fathers and have confidence in the vision they had for America?
  3. Are you concerned about what’s happening in America?
  4. Would you like to know how we can help restore America, peacefully?

If you answered “Yes” to these questions, then join the Thomas Jefferson Center – Arizona (TJCAZ) mailing list below.  Through this occasional newsletter, my team will bring you information that will help you understand how the principles of success can combine with patriotism for your country, to bring about the right kind of change.

Learn more by completing the form below:

First Name *
Last Name *
Email *
City *
State *

This newsletter is managed by the TJCAZ team, completely independent from Leslie’s ThoughtsAlive business and/or mailing list.  It is easy to remove yourself from our mailing list at any time.

Share

Neighbors at my Door in Robes

At about 9 pm last night, there was a knock at my door.

My dog immediately erupted into his deep and threatening ‘woofing’, so I opened the door to see who would stop by at such a late hour, unannounced. When I opened the door, my heart sank.

See, for the previous 20 minutes or so, I had been dealing with my oh-so-sweet-but-highly-emotional-seven-year-old daughter who does not like to be alone.  Back when she was born, I made a conscious decision to spoil this child.  I had heard, “You can’t spoil a baby.”

Well, I may have been the first.

(Actually, I was just so completely in love with cuddling my new bundle, and since I wasn’t running off to work everyday and could take the time to just love and hold her, I delivered an overdose.  I was motivated by selfish reasons, to be sure – it just brought me so much joy to love on her!)

I don’t regret the time I spent with her, because it’s still one of my favorite things to do: cuddling with my kids.  But I can see that she never learned to console herself – a skill that all human beings must learn.  She doesn’t know that she’s capable of it, because she never had an opportunity to practice being alone.  I wasn’t the only one – she also had 5 older siblings and a father who doted on her, too.

Fast forward seven years.

Even now she shares a room with her two sisters.  At the prospect that she may need to go into another room by herself, she begins to look for someone to go with her.   She simply can’t bear solitude… even when someone is in another room nearby.

This makes bedtime really tough, because even though there are seven children in three rooms upstairs, not everyone is ready to get there all at the same time.  Sometimes her baby sister has fallen asleep on a couch, or maybe her big sister is busy finishing up something for me when it’s time for her to go to bed.  That’s when the fussing starts, and if we don’t accommodate her immediately, she bursts into tears until she gets her way.

So, tonight was the night I was determined to show her that she DOES have coping skills.  So long as someone in our family continually rescues her, she’ll never find out that she really IS okay by herself, and that she can find peace and happiness with her own thoughts using the amazing mind that God gave her.  In fact, she has a genius mind that will eventually be capable of solving her every dilemma.

She needed to be left to herself long enough to learn this lesson.  She was in a safe and controlled environment – and I was only a short hallway away.  But in her mind, her very life was in peril.  Her tantrum began, and she wouldn’t stop.

I wondered if I was doing the right thing, but something said I needed to let her experience it completely.  Children will fuss until they’re too tired to fuss anymore, and then they calm down and find out they’re okay.  I was prepared to wait this tantrum out if it took all night.  I even told her sister, “I know it’s bedtime, but I want you to wait until she’s calm before you go up there.”

My plan was interrupted by the knock at the door.  I opened it, and there were my neighbors in their bathrobes.

Cheerfully I greeted them, and with a concerned look on their face they asked me if everything was okay (as my daughter continued to scream: “Someone!  Pleeeeeaase, heeeeeeeeelllllpp!”).

I smiled and said, “Yes, everything’s fine; let me tell you what’s going on.” So we stepped outside (where I thought we’d be able to hear each other better) and I told them what was happening.  My dear neighbor chuckled and said, “My dear, we’ve all been there.  Just wanted to make sure she wasn’t stuck in your garage or something.”

In the background my daughter was still screaming.

In fact, that’s when I realized that it was louder outside than I was hearing it inside – and it echoed down the street in both directions.

I went upstairs and said, “Bethany, let me show you something.” I took her onto the balcony so she could see the neighbors who were outside.  As we stood hidden in the shadows, I quietly pointed across the street and said,  “Do you see those people?  They might have been getting ready to call the police because it sounds like someone is dying…  Are you really in so much danger that you need the police to come?”  She shook her head no.  I said, “Did you know that I asked Kayli not to come up until you had calmed down?”  She shook her head no.

I took her back to her room and she asked if she could try again.  Within a few minutes she proved she could show self control – using her words rather than her screams – so I sent her siblings up to bed, and that was that.

Here’s something I’ve learned about life.  We were all born with capabilities beyond our imagination.  Not only do we have coping skills, but we also have untapped gifts and talents.  How are they uncovered?  Through hardship.  I believe God sees where we have perhaps not yet discovered and developed one of the gifts he’s given us, so he allows us to feel alone and permits challenges to overwhelm us.

The truth is, he has created a very safe, controlled environment for our growth.  We think we’re in peril; but we’re really not.  It’s an illusion, just like my daughter’s peril was imaginary.

We think all is lost; we think there’s no hope, and we think we need a rescue.  But the more we rant, and the louder we fuss, the longer it may take to experience the relief we seek.

Perhaps this is the week, the month, the day, the year, the decade that God is determined to show you that you DO have coping skills, somewhere deep down inside.  So long as you keep waiting for a rescue, you may never find out that you really ARE okay just as things are, and that you do have coping skills built into the amazing mind that God gave you.  You do have a genius mind that can create solutions for yourself – and it’s something I believe God wants you to discover.

Do you ever wonder if God’s doing the right thing by you? Does it feel like he’s taking a really long time to answer?  Well, God just may wait until you have “experienced it completely”.  I believe He knows you might fuss until you’re  too tired to fuss anymore, and then you’ll calm down and find out you’re really okay.  I’m sure he’s prepared to wait out such tantrums if it takes an eternity.  Maybe he’ll step in now and then to remind you to be at peace, but it’s up to you to obey the recommendation.  Perhaps he’s even telling the angels, “I know it’s taking a while, but I want you to wait until (s)he’s calm before you go help out.”

You think you need a rescue, but maybe what you really need is to calm down and discover the answers that God has already placed inside of you.  If you’re not yet asking the right questions, life will continue to deliver experiences that shake you up and leave you so perplexed that you have nothing else to do but to look inward to find them.  Look diligently enough and you’ll also find your hidden talents, skills, and gifts he’s given you.

I want to help you find them.  Join me in the FTMF Program – it’s all really simpler than you think.

Share

Strange Surfer Wisdom

Positive Thinking Tip: the raging turbulence in life can propel you toward your goals.

We all wish life could be a little easier sometimes: peaceful, tranquil, smooth.  I know – I’ve felt that way.

But the last time I found myself in the middle of a turbulent, disruptive, high-pressure life challenge, an image popped unexpectedly into my head.  Now, I’m not a surfer – and I don’t live near an ocean, so you may think this is a little strange… but this is what I saw:

Here is a surfer zooming through a wave tube.  The shot was taken from the point of view of the surfer.

The surfer is traveling at high speeds and is on his or her way out of the tunnel and into the sunshine.

When this image showed up in my head, it was instantly clear to me that my business momentum (and even some rapid personal growth) was happening because of the destructive forces that were around me, coupled with my determination to get out from under them.

Do you have destructive forces around you?

Are you determined to get out from under them?

I had been doing my best to keep my eyes on where I was going, without giving heed to the difficulties that threatened to destroy everything, but it was not an easy thing to do.  I believe this image popping into my head was God’s way of telling me that the challenges I faced were good for me, and that if I didn’t give up, I’d come through just fine.

It amazed me to realize how the destructive forces and my determined focus on the goal were literally working together to help me utilize the power of those destructive forces to propel me forward.

Can you see how hunkering down and keeping my eye on the end of the tunnel was the best thing I could do, rather than looking around and putting my energy into trying to stop the waves from crashing onto me?  Picture that!  Imagine me zooming down a wave tube on a surfboard, and then turning toward the wave, holding my arms out to block the water from pushing me over.  It would be ridiculous, really, and I suspect I’d come away pretty beat up.

Yes, trying to stop the waves is futile – it’s true in surfing, and it’s true in life.

Remember this! Waves of opposition are part of life, and you can destroy yourself trying to push them away.

By letting the waves of opposition just be what they are, you can focus on where you’re going and they become the force that takes you there.

Whether the force propels you or destroys you depends on where you put your focus, energy, and attention.

Surfers understand this principle; and the best in the field are even happiest when the waves coming at them are the most forceful. They’ve learned to make the most of the very thing that threatens to pull them under (or knock them unconscious), and they use it to travel at breakneck speeds out of the dark tunnel and into the light.

Have you heard about the Law of Polarity that says, the worse things are, the better?  Perhaps now you can see why.

The stronger the wave, the faster you can travel.

By contrast, here’s a picture to the left that symbolizes the life we think we want.

I call this picture “shark bait”.

Things are peaceful, but he’s going nowhere.

So be grateful for your challenges… they’re taking you places.  Don’t be overcome by the appearances of impending doom – let them be what they are, and focus on where you’re going.  It’s an exercise of faith to think this way, but one day you’ll look back and understand what all the disappointments, setbacks, and trials were for.

Feeling gratitude now will put your thinking on a frequency that tunes you into the solutions – genius solutions – to your problems that you haven’t even thought of yet.

For more on this topic, read Portal to Genius – FREE.

Share

The Money Tree

What a fascinating experiment. Not surprising… but let it help you reflect on what opportunities and resources are all around YOU that you’re not seeing yet.

Maybe from this we can create a new quote…

When the seeker is ready, the MONEY will appear.

So, be sure to watch these upcoming webcasts to see how to open YOUR eyes to the resources all around YOU:

Life is abundant!

Share