No Flow, No Go?

pencil-guyDo you ever feel like you could be the poster child for Murphy’s Law?  Have you ever wondered if the struggle you face is evidence that you’re doing the wrong thing?  Before you draw that conclusion, read this:

I recently had a conversation with one of our Family Time & Money Freedom (FTMF) participants and I thought I’d let you in on it…

Hi Leslie,

…I am just really bummed out right now. I am currently attending a University course to get my psychology degree. I am taking a philosophy class which I thought I would love, but it turns out the instructor is very picky so I am not enjoying or doing well in this class.

I read once that if something is a struggle, then it is not the right thing to be doing. If I am meant to be doing something, then it should be inspired and easy flowing.

I want to be a life coach and thought that with a degree in psychology, it might make things better.

I am worried too because I am getting financial aid and if I fail this class I may have to end up paying for the class or pay loans back or something which will put me further in the hole. I am just sitting here wondering what I am doing and really very upset. I didn’t know who to turn to or even what to do right now, So I guess I just needed to vent. I am scared, lets just say that. I am at work right now, if I wasn’t I would be crying.

Here’s how I replied:

First of all, take a deep, deep breath.

Second of all, let me add my perspective on the comment, “if something is a struggle, then it is not the right thing to be doing.” I think there is some truth to that, but it’s been twisted.

I gave birth to a few kids, and every one of those labors was a TREMENDOUS struggle.  That doesn’t mean in the least that it wasn’t the right thing to do.  The truth is that ANYthing worth having is worth struggling for.  The key is to keep your “WHY” vivid and alive.  When you lose sight of why you’re putting yourself through something tough, then the pain is only magnified.  When you remember the people whose lives you’ll change forever, the passion and the dream of that expectation is anesthesia that dulls the pain.

I can’t tell you how many times my husband and I thought, “We can do anything, as long as it gets us closer to our goal, and as long as we know it’s temporary.”  We always said that about the un-fun things we had to do along the way.

Furthermore, if you give up now just because it isn’t fun anymore, then how will you ever be qualified to coach someone else through their struggles?

If I were you, I’d do what I could to remember the law of Polarity and the law of Rhythm, especially now.  As horrible as this is, is how wonderful the reward will be on the other side.  If it’s only a little bit bad, then the reward will only be a little bit good.  If things are bad today, you can expect an upturn in your mood soon enough.  Look forward to it, expect it.  Be grateful for the pain today, because it is only through that pain that there could possibly be meaning in the victory.

As for the “flow” concept, yes, things can go smoothly and you can have that peace of mind being in the flow.  But it is an internal thing.  Life will always deliver challenges.  ALWAYS.  Life mastery means finding peace of mind and assurance that everything is going to be okay no matter what.  When you live in that kind of a state of being, then the resources you need begin to flow your way more naturally.  But remember, you’ve got to achieve that mindset before it flows, and that mindset can only be achieved in the middle of hardship.  (Anyone can find peace of mind when life is going smoothly; the best rewards come from finding it when life is NOT going smoothly.  That’s what separates the winners from the crowd.)

So, in reality, your hardship right now is a tremendous gift to you – you’re being given the opportunity to prove your mental toughness and demonstrate right thinking in spite of it.  Pass the test and you leap to a new level of life success.  Without the hardship, you would have no opportunity to prove yourself, and no corresponding reward would be waiting.

Anyway, I know this probably isn’t what you wanted to hear, but I hope you find it helpful.

Hang in there – a better day is coming if you respond to this the right way.  Think, how would a champion handle this?  How would a highly successful success coach handle this?  You’ve got it inside of you to conquer this – be kind to yourself.  Do your best and let God handle the rest.  Whatever the outcome is, chalk it up to your experience that adds to the value you’ll have to offer your future clients.

Warmest regards, 🙂

Leslie

This young woman quickly replied:

Thank you so so much Leslie! It means so much to me that you took time out to write me back! I love every bit of your reply. It all makes perfect sense! Again thank you so much! Just what I needed.

Now, what about you?  I’d like to help you get through those ‘stuck places’.

How? Join me in the FTMF program – if you get involved before our current stock runs out, your version will automatically include my personal assistance on your goal at the midterm ($199 value).

(Future editions of the manual will be modified to exclude that bonus service; I’m getting spread a little too thin to keep it in there!)

Procrastination is your biggest enemy – if you know you need to do this, do it now.  Your transformation awaits you!

http://www.prosperthefamily.com

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To Debt or Not to Debt

47tips-to-debt

Positive thinking tip: Do the right thing. Follow your conscience, and believe in miracles!

One of our readers (I’ll call her Julie) had a question about the wisdom or insanity of going into debt for training on this material. She had some real concerns. She and her husband had vowed that they would accrue no more debt. Anyway, she really wanted to attend our facilitator training program but in order to do so, it would have to go on a card. I did not tell her to charge it; instead I tried to teach a principle so that she could understand what was really going on, and make the wisest choice possible. If you’re interested in my reply, I’ve posted her question and my answer below:

Question

Dear Leslie, Your seminar information is so compelling that I can’t stop thinking about it! I read the email you sent with further information and was also intrigued, but my face fell when I read the price. Not that it isn’t worth it–but my husband and I have made a commitment to each other that we will not acquire any more debt. And circumstances (our two cars both totalled, for one example) have made it such that attending the training would put us in further debt.

At this point, she suggested a trade for services, which at the time was not going to work out for me. So instead, I wanted her to think about the following principle…

Answer

(Note added on August 8, 2015: Before you read my response below, I want to say that I am a HUGE Dave Ramsey fan. I wish that I had been following him back when she wrote me, because I would have been more conscious and understanding about her concerns. Click here to read how and why my feelings have changed about Dave Ramsey over the years. Regardless, read on to see how it all played out – find out how she accomplished her goal without going into debt.)

Julie, I am not going to tell you that you must acquire more debt, although my personal philosophy is that there are two things worthy of it: a home, and education. I remember attending seminars for 7 years, about 100 of them, and each time feeling sick inside about the money we were spending. True, I understood that seminars counted as education, and we weren’t buying luxuries or lifestyle on credit, but I still felt sick. If you are well enough read in the materials, you know that how you FEEL is the primary indicator of how life will look in the future. We struggled for those 7 years and things only got worse; we only got deeper and deeper into debt.

Finally there came a point where I decided, I CHOSE, to feel differently, and that shift in mentality came from reading “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and “The Millionaire Next Door” back to back within a few weeks. Along came an opportunity for some important training all the way across the country, and we felt that we needed to be there. It was going to cost us a few thousand dollars, and at the time we were living in California on pennies. The only way for us to go was to put it on a credit card, but for the first time in my life, I allowed myself to mentally let go and get really excited about what the training was going to DO for us. Instead of counting pennies for the meals and other expenses, we just went forward with an absolute expectation that it was going to PAY huge dividends to be there. I focused on the benefits instead of the “expense”. (What we focus on, and give energy to, is what shows up in our life. If we focus on the “debt” part, that’s what we’ll get more of, in spite of our efforts to steer clear of it. Things will happen, things will break down, accidents will come, and make it impossible to ever get out.)

While we were there, we took some time and browsed some expensive stores, and allowed ourselves to pretend we were wealthy, if for just one weekend. With this shift in mentality, and with our air travel requiring us to take the trip with 3 changes of planes on the way (okay, so it was the cheapest way we could find to get there), we actually ended up sitting next to self-made millionaires on EVERY leg of that journey, even when my husband and I were split up. It got to the point where we’d get back together between each segment and say, “so who did YOU sit by THIS time??!!” Inventors, Business Tycoons, Real Estate people, whatever. But the conversations we had during that trip planted some seeds in our minds that have since borne abundant fruit in our own life.

We realized that by thinking differently, we were led to like-minded people who were able to give us the next morsel of wisdom on our path. It actually led us to make another $2500 investment on a credit card two months later for a personal coaching program (so on the surface it appeared that we had fallen around $5000 deeper within a short 2 months, but underneath, we were growing so big inside it was just about to pop and we could feel it coming.) During this time, I refused any temptation to have regrets over the way we had spent our money. I only allowed myself to look forward and be excited about what the training was going to do for us, and the lifestyle we expected to enjoy. Because of the coaching, I gained the knowledge and the courage to take a big step and purchase a second home (more debt?) and rent the first, all without using any of my own money because I had none. Suddenly it may have appeared that we were about $100,000 deeper than even before, even at a time when we were already unable to make ends meet as it was. Our income couldn’t support what we had done, but we had felt led to do it anyway, and by the time the first mortgage payment came due on the more expensive house, my husband landed a contract that tripled his income. Was this the prudent way to go? “Apparently” not, but we were not operating on appearances, we were operating on being locked on a goal and trusting inspiration to lead us there, no matter how crazy the path seemed to be. If we had told anyone what we were doing, we would have looked like a crazy dog doing insane things. We kept it to ourselves because we knew that nobody else could see our rabbit and where it was leading us.

Can you see how important one’s psychology is at this point? You might be wondering if all that craziness truly was inspiration or utter deception. Let me tell you what came of it, BECAUSE I didn’t allow myself to feel sick or have regrets. There was no looking back.

Here’s what came of it: I did it again (purchased another home) about 2 years later, and on the surface it would appear that we were another $160,000 deeper even still. But only 8 months after that, I sold the two homes for $300,000 EACH, and walked away with $250,000 tax-free income. It all started with feeling differently about, and understanding the difference between debt and investments. We have since used “other people’s money” at 3 or 6 or 12 percent or whatever, in order to do something that would yield 20 or 40 percent, or our best return ever was actually a 700% return. Now, you can use the principles we teach to get yourself the cash you need to do whatever it is you want to do… CASH. There is a way. It may require trading time for the money, and you may or may not have enough time to make that exchange before the event. But if you are going to teach people how to create a life of freedom, you can be sure that you will have countless people face the same problem you face right now. My recommendation is that you see yourself there, envision the way life will be on the other side of it, and let inspiration lead you to the “how”. Trust whatever it tells you to do, and by conquering this giant, that is when you will be equipped and ready to teach others how to do the same.

I hope this helps you in some way. Please do not take this to mean that you should put the training on a credit card. I am not saying that. I am saying that your job is to know what you want, and deciding the “how” is not your department. By taking it upon ourselves to decide how something has to happen, we often pinch off solutions that could set us free. Don’t go to the training without first having a clear picture of why you’d want to go. Get your “why” absolutely clear and on paper, and then inspiration may even tell you that the “how” to get to that “why” has nothing to do with training to be a facilitator. Maybe it will; only you can decide that. Or maybe it needs to be later. Nobody can decide that for you.

Remember also that nobody needs a “way” until a decision has been made. If you decide to be there, come heck or high water, the way will appear, but not until then.

Her Reply

(Take note of her attitude… she didn’t allow herself to get upset that I didn’t accept the “trade” idea, she took my comments to heart and expected to find a way.)

Thank you SO much for taking the time (goodness, with six kids to boot!) to answer some stranger out of nowhere with her crazy proposal. And then thank you again for taking the time to tell some of your story. It inspired me and gave me a better focus on the direction I want to go.

My husband and I attended Bob Proctor’s Science of Getting Rich Seminar several years ago. I agree, it is wonderful and well worth the investment. We have also attended, probably not hundreds, but definitely dozens of other seminars, in the past ten years. Additionally we have purchased countless programs from Nightingale Conant, which we thoroughly enjoy. I think, for the most part, I understand and apply the principles of success. …The little blip we are experiencing right now is short-lived and we feel things turning around for us.

What I would like to do is explore further the opportunities that the seminar will provide for me to teach in the future. …perhaps together we can determine if this is right for me…

But before I [finish this email]… I want to share with you a humorous anecdote that just happened: I told you we have two totalled cars, right? I wrote down exactly what we wanted. Free, or close to it, in good shape, suitable for a professional man to drive to work, and preferably any color except white. Well, the Universe doesn’t hear negatives! So, we got an older but well maintained Ford Taurus SHO yesterday, in good shape, suitable for my husband to drive to work, for $1000 (nearly free), and the color? White! Another little testimonial about thinking in positive terms about what we want. – Julie

I sent my list a copy of this conversation, because I know this question is a common one, and I wanted to share the principles described above. How easy it would have been for Julie to get discouraged at my refusal to do a trade and simply give up, thinking, “Oh, well.” But no, she will accomplish anything she sets out to do so long as she continues in right thinking as she has done so far. I believe it is because of her determination and expectancy that the next thing happened:

Three Days Later, from another reader:

Leslie,

I was reading your reply to the lady who wanted to taking your facilitator course but did not feel that she should put herself deeper in debt. I was wondering if you knew if she had signed up or not. If not, how much is the course that she would like to take? I don’t know why – but I feel a strong desire to help her out. Believe me when I say that this is a very unusal move on my part. I’m certainly not independently wealthy – I work for the federal government (as you can see from my email address). But I’ve been with them for 23 years now and am earning a decent salary. I am a firm believer though that if you help another, it only comes back in good ways to you.

So I’d like to at least help defray her costs – but I’d also like to do it anonymously. Can you help me help her?

This stranger ended up contributing $2495.00

Julie’s response to the good, charitable stranger:

Leslie, would you please forward the following thank-you note to my “scholarship mentor”?:

It is difficult to express how deeply grateful I am for your very generous gift. I am honored, humbled, and touched to think that someone would be moved to make an important opportunity available to me. I commit to you that I will use this gift wisely; I will utilize my abilities to learn and apply everything I can. Perhaps someday I can thank you personally. Until then, the face of every person I pass could possibly be you! That thought makes all of humanity more endearing. And so you have made the world a better place already. Blessings! – Julie

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Blood Banks and Your Finances

Positive Thinking Tip: Like Blood in your body, It’s better to have a little money that flows really well, than a lot that doesn’t flow at all.

blood bags
Like blood in your body, money needs to flow

I used to set money goals.  Over the years, we’ve achieved nearly all of them.  But every time we achieved one, we couldn’t really rest because it was always time to set another.  I looked forward to a day when we wouldn’t have to continually be scrambling for the next paycheck.

And then one day we were given the blessing of facing the fact that all the money reserves were used up.  I say it was a blessing, because what we learned in that moment changed our perspective completely.

I finally realized something.

We had previously experienced what it felt like to have a lot of money in the bank, and on that day we experienced the total opposite.  In the first case, we had a bunch of money in reserves, and zero cash flow.  In other words, we had not done enough in the way of creating income streams to replace the money as fast as we were spending it.

We weren’t spending frivolously; it was just the cost of living and investing in ourselves that was eating into our reserves, and it had been our primary objective to get the income streams flowing before all the money ran out.

As you can imagine, in the back of our minds we wondered what would happen if the money ran out before the cash flow was in place.

And then, on that fateful day we were fortunate enough to experience the thing we feared.  The money was gone, the resources were dried up, but we had several income streams in place that we had worked a long time to create.  The income was not guaranteed and never very predictable, but it was cash flow.

Trust me on this one: there was much more of a sense of financial security with NO money in the bank, but a little bit of a variable cash flow, than there ever was with a giant pile of money in the bank and limited to no cash flow.

I think the ‘flow way’ is more in alignment with the proper nature of things, anyway.  Money should stay in circulation.  It’s currency (current-cy)!  It needs to flow.  It needs to be utilized or it has no value.  Net worth is a facade.  As my co-author for Portal to Genius Garrett B. Gunderson says, “It’s just dots on a paper.”

Real wealth and real value comes from exchange.  Whether it is exchange involving money or not, there is no wealth in dormant resources.

Think of it this way: would you rather have a healthy 10 pints of blood flowing through your body, or would you rather have 40 gallons in a refrigerator and a body with NO blood flow? (How’s that for a visual aid?)

That’s what can happen to a person who is tempted to hoard, or who gets caught in the ‘accumulation trap’. It’s a formula for disaster.

Begin by coming to peace with how much you have, and let it flow.

(This brings up a point about charitable donations: Our bodies naturally create more blood when we donate some – and we don’t even have to know how we do it.  Same with money.  Even if you have only a little, don’t be afraid to let it flow to good causes.  Nature has ways of replenishing you again.  Have faith!)

So, instead of setting a goal to have a million dollars in the bank, remember, the pile of money doesn’t bring peace of mind – in many cases, it creates more anxiety because of the fear it will dwindle or that it might be mismanaged.

Peace of mind comes  from having a healthy flow, even if what flows isn’t very much.

Where there’s flow, things grow.  It’s the difference between the Dead Sea and the Sea of Galilee.  It’s the difference between 10 pints flowing between your heart, lungs and brain, vs. 40 gallons in a refrigerator.

Whether you have a lot, or a little, it’s got to flow.  Don’t be afraid of running out when you’re putting your resources toward investing in your soul purpose.  The laws of success support you best when you’re doing what your heart is telling you to do.

Don’t be afraid to invest in the training you need that will help you develop those income streams.  As Bob Proctor taught me long ago, the cure for Fear is not Courage, the cure for Fear is Knowledge.

Let me show you how to have the peace of mind I’m talking about.  I’ll work with you more personally to help you step-by-step to experience that transformation through the MINDSET MASTERY™ 12-week home study program.  Find out more

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The Swell in Front of You

Positive thinking tip: When resources are low, just take a step forward. your Existing resources will automatically seem to grow, which will help you feel more cheerful until they really do.

walking in water
Get moving and your pool of resources will seem to increase

Staying in forward motion toward your goals, even when it looks like you’re going to drown financially, does more for lining up your success than you realize.

(Don’t forget: If you’re afraid you’ll fall, at least fall forward.)

I like to think of what happens when you’re standing in a still pool of water.  As long as you stand still, nothing happens.  If you take one step forward, it creates a ripple all around you, but even more than that I want you to think about the swell that grows in front of you.

One simple step creates a temporary surge of water right there in front of you.

If your finances feel flat, take a step in the right direction. You can’t help but create a swell of resources right near you. The problem is, if you’re like me, quite often you’re too busy looking at the ripples spreading out in all directions (wondering if and when they’ll ever return), to even notice the swell in front of you.

Take a step in the right direction and look for evidence of some kind of swell in your immediate surroundings. Being of service to someone without expectation of repayment creates a swell right there in that relationship.

Read something empowering and it creates an immediate swell right there in your outlook on life.

Invest in yourself and you create an immediate swell in your confidence that everything is going to work out for you.

Every good choice creates a swell, and it’s your job to make sure that swell doesn’t level out again.  The only way to keep it surging is to keep on moving.  If you stop, just like when you’re in water, the swell eventually dissipates, and you’re left looking at a flat environment once again.

It’s a temptation to stand there and wait for someone else to come along and create a swell… but the power is in you.

Get moving, do something.  Even if you’re weary, just take one more step.  As long as you keep moving, your momentum will build, and the swell almost seems to lead the way.

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Why I Needed to Have a Bad Day

Positive Thinking Tip: God will always make lemonade out of your lemons, so Don’t be so hard on yourself.

Charlie
New home for Charlie?

Last year I remember having one particularly horrible, edgy day. I was angry at everyone, and everything around me. Even the things that weren’t all that bad started looking intolerable.

I didn’t even know what originally set me off, but I was clearly out of control.

And the final straw: doggie poop in the back yard.

That was it. We had already had a pow wow with our children the month before, and the deal was agreed – that they needed to pitch in on his poop and start caring for him better without being reminded, or we’d need to find him a better home.

With seven children between the ages of 3 and 17, surely there would be someone who cared enough about keeping our beloved basset hound to show that kind of initiative.

Well, it had been about four weeks, and only ONCE had one of the children cleaned up his poop without being asked.

He was already in one classified ad, and we had received two calls up to that point, but we also had a list of what the perfect home for him would be like, and we weren’t going to give him up unless we found someone whose home matched that list.

But on this day, I had become overly upset about the poop and determined to place an ad in another paper to speed up the process.

My 14 year-old son saw me typing furiously on the computer and wondered, “What are you doing?”

“Placing another ad for Charlie.”

“What?!” He was devastated. He couldn’t believe I was actually going to go through with it, and was surprised to find out that this wasn’t the first ad I had placed.

Finding no sympathy in me, he stormed out of the house to cool off. I felt horrible. I wondered why I had failed so miserably at being the kind of person I prefer to be.

It wasn’t until several days later that I found out why it turned out okay that I had experienced such a ‘bad’ day. I learned that God can use us, even when we’re being pathetic, to accomplish his purposes:

On that same day, my ten year old was across the neighborhood coming home from the park on his bike. His pant leg got caught in the chain on a street that we rarely ever traverse. He was stuck, and alone, and didn’t have the strength nor could he get the right angle to pull it out.

Until my 14 year-old wandered into that remote area of our neighborhood, just trying to get away from a cranky mother. He very rarely has had a reason to go on that street, and on that day, he thought he was on his way to nowhere.

But no, he was on his way to his brother and didn’t even know it.

I don’t think God purposely tries to tick me off so that this kind of rescue can take place… but he knows me and my weaknesses. He lets me have them so that I’ll stay humble, and learn to rely on him more completely… and as a side benefit, he uses my weaknesses to accomplish good things.

I guess it just makes me feel like everything is going to turn out okay if I just keep trying to do my best, and forgive myself on days when I’m at my worst.

All is not lost in those days when we fail, in fact, I’ll bet that more good comes out of those days than we’ll ever know.

Get life-changing step by step training on how to be a real person who can get really great results in spite of yourself. You don’t have to be perfect to create an uncommon income.  Get started right now in the FTMF 12-week success system, and let me walk you through the process!

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