How to reach more customers

I strive to provide life-changing content at no charge, and for those who need extra help, I offer additional products and services. By focusing on what I can GIVE, over 50,000 people have requested my information; and many of them tell their friends about me. This has been an effective approach that keeps me busy helping a lot of people.

But today I want to share with you one of my BEST strategies for reaching more customers:

I participate in a gift giveaway event almost every year, which always brings me hundreds (sometimes thousands) of new subscribers in just a few weeks. And if you’re building an online business (specifically one that empowers people to improve their lives), I strongly suggest you consider doing it with me this year.

Having participated in this event every year for nearly 7 years, I have come to know and respect the event hosts (Carolyn and Joe), and they do a first-class job at bringing lots of targeted prospects to what I have to offer. If you have a product or service that empowers people, they can do the same for you.

Each event has a different theme. Sometimes it’s health and wellness, sometimes it takes a more general approach. This one is the 2nd Annual Empowered Living Gifts Giveaway event and it’s getting ready to launch in just a couple weeks.

(If you join this event for free – even if you’re not ready to participate 100% – you’ll be automatically notified of other events in the future.)

How does it work?

Basically, you provide a downloadable or digital gift (a sample of your product or service – an ebook is a great example), and then announce this gift giveaway event to your subscribers.

HUNDREDS of list owners are coming together to do the same thing. So as you let your subscribers know about the gifts they can choose from, the other list owners are doing the same for YOU.

This is a perfect example of building wealth on the CREATIVE plane, instead of the COMPETITIVE plane (as explained in my free ebook Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help with Your Money Matters – available at http://www.hiddentreasuresbook.com).

In other words, your free gift gets exposure to THOUSANDS of new potential subscribers in a matter of days, and if you deliver great information and they like what they receive from you, you have a new list of warm leads and potential customers with whom you can follow up.

Participation in this gift-giveaway event is FREE.

(But there IS an upgrade option, which I ALWAYS do. For me, at least, it always pays for itself pretty quickly.)

Sign up here

To Your List-building Success!

Leslie Householder

P.S. This event is free to join, but with 500 + gifts expected, I highly recommend you give serious thought to upgrading your account for 4x the list-building visibility and the opportunity to add multiple gifts – I always do.

To College or Not to College

Reader’s Question:

Hey Leslie, I’m a 17 year old homeschooler who loves the leadership and mastery principles you teach and study yourself. Recently, I have been faced with the choice of going to college, but don’t know what I want to study and if the opportunities I have to learn other relevant skills would be outside of college. I feel drawn to learning and pursuing my education outside of college and feel that is where God needs me, but I also have parents and close family around me telling me that I need to “have all of my bases covered, just in case.” Is following the “safe” path to make sure I have a stable future having faith?

I really love what you have written and taught! I recently purchased the 8-Week Mindset Fundamental Course. Really excited to delve deeper into the principles. 🙂

My reply:

These are really great questions. I homeschooled my kids for 9 years and my primary goal was to give them a love of learning. (Here’s an interesting summary of our experience with that.) I’ve seen this take my kids on paths that I didn’t expect them to take, but they have all been very happy chasing what they love.

I’ve seen people be successful with and without a college education, but what I tell my children is that many more doors can open to a person who does go to college. The best advice I ever heard on the topic was by Mark Twain who said to never let schooling get in the way of your education. That doesn’t mean don’t go to school, it means get what you can but always remember the purpose – learning. (I went through college without a love of learning and wish that I had been taught how to enjoy my education.)

It sounds like you were born to be a leader, and as a leader, I’d love to see you be the one with a college education who ALSO has the mindset and leadership training to really stand out.

As you know, a college education does not guarantee success, and a person can most certainly succeed without one, but your sphere of influence can be greater if you do both.

Ultimately, you’ll have to make the decision that feels right to you. I have a degree, but my husband does not. He has done relatively well for himself in spite of it (building a six-figure career), but there has been a lot of pain and frustration in the last 30 years that could have been avoided, had he just knocked it out before life got too complicated with our growing family. He recently decided he wanted to finish what he started those many years ago as a bucket-list item, but it is definitely much harder to do now.

He has always felt that he would have been more prepared for leadership, more confident in his work, more influential in his career, and would have been able to more quickly advance, if he had had his degree. In many cases it’s the difference between “easy now, hard later” vs “hard now, easy later”. He has achieved well, but it turned out to be much longer and harder than it probably needed to be.

There really is no price tag that can be put on the confidence it cost him – even if his perceived inferiority wasn’t a reality. Has he managed? Yes. Has he excelled? Yes. Does he feel like he could have done better or achieved more? Absolutely.

The nice thing nowadays is that you don’t have to do it all in 4 years, especially if the work you’re drawn to doesn’t require a degree. I have a son who has been working on his degree but takes breaks to work and/or pursue his passions, but he stays enrolled keeping at least one class going each semester that he’s on track. His primary objective is to stay out of debt and do what he feels led to do at each step of the way. Sometimes it’s led him to take a heavy load, other times its led him to do an internship in a field that really speaks to him even though it doesn’t give him college credit, and sometimes it’s led him to build his career (which is now somewhat unrelated to the degree he’s almost finished with). Still, the degree will help him be marketable in a skill that pays well, so that he is more free to pursue his passion without having to make it pay. Sometimes the passion can fade quickly when you’ve GOT to make it PAY. That has happened to me – at one point my husband left his work to help me with our business, and we had some setbacks that forced us to make the business do well, but the pressure took all the joy out of my work. My husband went back to a job and I had to take a 5 year break from my work just to restore my love for it.

Anyway, there is a wise and healthy balance for you to find. The counsel is to get as much education as you can, which doesn’t necessarily mean college, but if you’re thinking about it, the easiest time to get a college education is when you’re young. Everything else you want to learn and do will always be there, and it can be added to the good foundation you put down now. I’d advise you to listen to the counsel of your parents and others who know you. Consider it all prayerfully with an open mind, even if it doesn’t appeal to you. Then find out what God thinks about it all.

If you were a few years older, I might have different advice, but for now, this is what I would say 🙂

Just remember, saying yes to a college education doesn’t have to mean no to everything else. It can be part of the plan, especially if you choose a path that supports your overall dream. Be wise and patient. I know it may seem contradictory to the principles I teach, but we LOVE listening to Dave Ramsey at our house. He’s entertaining and keeps us from making decisions that we will regret. We’ve made enough of those that I’m much more patient now with my goals, and much more willing to build them from a solid foundation – because I’ve achieved many goals that later fell apart, or that I later regretted achieving. I’m much more willing to listen to people who are older and wiser than me now.

Hope this helps!

Rare Faith for Weight Loss

I know, I know. I tell people not to use the words “weight loss” because you don’t want your subconscious mind to go looking for the heaviness again, but these are the words that people still use in search of help, so I went ahead and put it in the title.

It’s my blog and I can do what I want. 😉

Anyway, if you’ve ever wondered how to use the Rare Faith principles to improve your fitness, here’s a tip:

Manipulate your scale to show the weight you want to be, and each time you step on it, imagine how good it feels now that you are exactly that (as though you’re already there). That’s the short version. A deeper exploration of the principles is contained in my Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse.

Here’s one reader’s experience with this tip:

“For quite awhile I pondered Leslie’s words ‘manipulate the scale.’ I couldn’t figure out how…especially with a digital scale. Well I figured it out and I want to share it with you as it has been one of the secrets of my successful achievements of getting to my goal weight. Each week I put a paper with my goal weight for the week over the actual number on the scale. So each time I stepped on the scale throughout the week I would see my goal for the week rather than the actual number. At the end of the week I would remove the paper and always find that the number I’ve been celebrating all week was the actual number. And then I would put on another paper with the following week goal. And that is how I manipulated my scale. This has been a goal I have been trying to meet on and off throughout the years. I am so glad to finally have reached it!” Laura D.

So what do YOU want to achieve this year?

To learn more about the principles, read The Jackrabbit Factor (free!) or go deeper with the Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse (not free, but worth it!).

“I can’t move forward until I get the exact vision”

In response to the 19 Rules of Prosperity, J.S. writes:

“I’m afraid. I know what my dream house looks like GENERALLY, or rather, what PARTS of it look like, but I’m having a hard time with all of the other details, and I feel like I can’t move forward until I get the exact vision. I know what I want with my health, money, business and relationships, and it’s okay that I’m not sure how it’s all going to come about, but the house is something very important to me.

“I’ve moved about 30 times in my life, and never minded having the ‘adventure’ of it as my life has gone through different phases and needs–either because of my Dad’s job, or my husband’s–but now that my kids are getting older, and I’m trying to get my business off of the ground and get a real vision for where my life is going, I feel like settling in the dream-home I always thought was ‘later,’ needs to be now. It’s turning into a bit of an obsession, I’m afraid, because I keep looking at house designs and decorating ideas, and still only have bits and pieces–although they’re good pieces!

“I don’t even know exactly WHERE I will need to settle to fulfill my life’s mission(s). I have this feeling that until I get the vision exact, I won’t get [it], but am I wrong? And if I’m right, now do I nail down these details? I listen to all of your podcasts, get your newsletter and read your books (some of these more than once) and I choose to believe. I just need a little advice–something to clarify this for me so I can move on.”

My reply:

Great question. All you need to do is list the things, features, or qualities about your ideal life that you ARE certain about it, and then at the end of the list say, “All this or something better.” When I don’t have all the details in mind, I trust that God knows best and I trust him to lead me to it. Put the fear away.

Here’s something I wrote to someone else, which may help:

I would suggest proceeding with the intention and prayer that it be “all this” (from your list), “or something better”. So this leaves it open to God giving you something even better than what’s on your list, and you may not know what’s better about it until you settle in. We did this for a home in 2004. It was everything on our list except it didn’t have the grass I wanted. But it was everything else, so we went for it and figured we could add grass later. Well, after we moved in, we found out that the homes in our neighborhood with grass had serious scorpion problems. We decided to keep it landscaped just the way it was. It was better without it. Also, along with that intent, you could add the intent, “We’ve decided to do THIS… is this right?” and look for a peaceful confirmation. If you don’t get a stupor, or confusion right off the bat, but it isn’t a super strong confirmation of peace, then you can proceed with a “stop us if we’re wrong” approach.

God doesn’t always tell us everything we should do, but he can steer us as long as we’re rolling 🙂

Her response:

“Thank you, Leslie! This is a HUGE relief. I have had the thought more than once that God knows what I need, but I’ve kept feeding the nagging feeling that He won’t give it to me until I show Him my exact desires. I love your advice! I appreciate permission to, ‘Put the fear away.’ That’s something I realized I’ve been waiting for. Thank you, again! Now, I feel I can move forward without fretting over details that aren’t perfect, yet. I will do my best to write down EVERYTHING I can think of, and then send it up to the Lord and trust Him. Thanks, again–so much!”

For more on this topic, read The Jackrabbit Factor (free!)

When my efforts aren’t enough

Powerful insight I learned from my daughter Kayli – she is preparing to serve a mission for our church but has been spending the last year “kicking Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism in the pants”. One of her main concerns has been “How can I effectively help others when I myself struggle so much?” She writes:

I was reading in Matthew 14 when the following verses and thoughts stuck out to me:

The first thing was that Christ had just learned that John had been killed, yet in his time of grief, he had compassion on those who needed to feel his love and hear his teachings.

The next few verses say that after Christ taught the people for a time, his disciples asked him to send the multitude away so they could get food. But in verse 16 Jesus says, “They need not depart; give ye them to eat.” Notice how he gives his disciples an opportunity to feed his people?

Well, realizing they didn’t have enough for the multitude, in verse 17 they reply, “We have here but five loaves, and two fishes.”

This is where I really started thinking about how this applies to my life. Recently I have seen people who I love dearly struggling. I have wanted to erase their pain and lift their burdens, but at the same time I have been struggling myself. So then I beat myself up for not being enough—for only having five loaves and two fishes—when I know full well that there is yet a multitude to feed.

But in verses 18 and 19 it says, “[Christ] said, Bring them hither to me. And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and took the five loaves, and the two fishes, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and gave the loaves to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude”.

When I read this next part, the realization came that I really don’t have sufficient strength to help anyone, including myself. But through my relationship with Christ, my small contribution can be turned into an abundance of “bread and fish”.

In verse 20 it says, “And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full.”

The disciples of Christ gave all they had over to the Savior, who then fed the multitude and they still had twelve full baskets.

I get it now. If I just focus on my relationship with my Savior, give him everything I’ve got, he will multiply it and make my efforts even more than sufficient. Not only will I be able to help those around me without draining myself, but when all is said and done, there will still be even more to spare: “twelve baskets full”.

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Talk about a miracle—not just for the disciples and the multitude, but for you and me, right here, right now. This is Rare Faith: believing that the impossible is possible and partnering with God to overcome every challenge. Thanks for letting me share this, Kayli. I love you!!

$10,000 worth of home repairs – no charge

From a Mindset Mastery Honors Graduate and Genius Bootcamp Participant:

Super LONG and Super COOL Laws of Thought Story and Tender Mercies…

First Some Back Story… 

Prior to the taking and graduating with honors from Leslie’s Mindset Mastery course, I had been living in a scarcity & doubting mindset for well over 20 years. For the past year or two I’ve been focused on implementing all that I had been learning in the Mindset Mastery course to change the trajectory of my mediocre life. Among many other tools I’ve been using to support my mindset shift into abundance is a “Day Dreaming” Word Document that I look over every day to “visualize and feel” certain goals into my reality (kind of like a vision board on steroids). I keep things in this document that I want to attract within a year’s period of time and I started this at the beginning of 2017, so it contains all the goals and dreams I want to attract into my life this year. Anyway, a few of the items that made it into my “Day Dreaming” document for this year are :

  1. A new fence because our East fence is about to fall over, and our South fence has enough slats missing now that our neighbor’s dog can come over and poop in our yard whenever it feels like it.
  2. A new roof because we’ve sustained enough wind and hail damage over the years to warrant the use of several buckets in our attic to catch the main leaks.
  3. Fix a hole in the brickwork on our house to the side of our garage door (a car rolled into it a couple of years ago leaving a moderate sized eyesore).

Each of these items are towards the end of the list of items in my “Day Dreaming” document for the year because I figured that the roof would cost over $5,000; and the fence & brickwork… well, I had no idea how much those would cost, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to pull any of these off until after attracting substantial increases in our business income throughout the year.

Mid April… 

After mowing the lawn and seeing our back yard fence for the first time in a month or two, and realizing once again, just how bad our fence had deteriorated; A Thought crossed my mind to not let doubt continue to stand in my way from at least finding out how much it would cost to fix the fence… even though I was 99% sure we couldn’t act on it for a while because our income hadn’t improved yet this year. So I made a Facebook post to a community Facebook Group asking if anyone out there had recommendations for a reliable and reasonably priced fence repair person or company.

Within a week…

We had a guy come out and give us an estimate of about $2,000 for the two sections of fence we would need to replace.

Not more than an hour later our neighbor on the South of our house (who we’ve actually never spoken to before), knocked at our door to tell us she has someone coming over to repair the portion of fence we share so we could give him access to our back yard if he needed to come back there. I asked her how much he was charging & she told me it would cost only $50-$100 to do it. I told her he could definitely have access to our back yard, and that we’d split the cost. The Lord gives good gifts, and I was thinking that having the worst of it repaired for $25-$50 (our half of the cost) would get us by until later in the year when we could afford to put a brand new fence up… but that’s not the end of the story…

A few days later… 

Even though I was thinking that I’d wait on fixing the East section of our fence; right after finishing my morning exercise (when I was all sweaty and gross), I had a recurring thought to go talk to our neighbors on the east of us right then about my intention to fix the portion of our fence that we share. I went right away, and in doing so I learned that THEY were already making plans to fix it! We talked about sharing the cost, but I didn’t know how I could even come up with half right now. As we got talking my neighbor told me how their insurance claim worked when their house was damaged in the storms the previous month. I learned that their deductible was not required to be paid up front, but was deducted from the check the insurance company sent the them… and then they hired someone to do the work cheaper than what the insurance company had paid so they had money left over for other things. Dang! I had thought all of these years (without looking into it of course) that we’d have to come up with $1,000 deductible out of pocket, so I’ve never even given a second thought into filing an insurance claim to have our roof fixed. With this new found knowledge of how home owners insurance claims work… I immediately went home & filed a claim with our insurance company. Upon doing so, I discovered that our deductible is not $1,000… it’s only $500 (even better!).

One week later…

The insurance inspector came to our home to assess the damage. When he finished his work he said he has enough evidence to submit a recommendation for us to receive a new roof, and to replace the East fence. He said they would ALSO pay for the water damage repairs in our kids bathroom (which I had forgotten about until he asked me if there was any water damage inside the house)!!! Can you say TENDER MERCIES? Holy cow we are being so blessed!

As I was sharing this tender mercy with my daughter later that afternoon we got talking about feeling genuine gratitude for things we want to be blessed with… and feeling the actual feelings as if a goal had already been accomplished. I described to my daughter how challenging it’s been for me over the years to FEEL the feelings and gratitude ahead of time. I found myself telling her of one time that I actually felt some pre-created (is that a word?) gratitude. As I began describing the first time I ever really felt real genuine feelings of joy and gratitude for something as if it had already happened, the realization struck me forcibly that the scenario I was describing to my daughter was at the beginning of April and I was picturing and feeling joy and gratitude for our fixed fence and new roof! Wow!!! Heavenly Father gives REALLY good gifts when we follow the correct principles upon which those gifts (aka blessings) are predicated!!

Yesterday… 

I met with the project manager of the remodeling company that will be replacing our roof & repairing our bathroom from water damage. He reviewed all the insurance paperwork and then proceeded to discuss what he could offer…

  1. There is a coupon for $500 that will satisfy the deductible!
  2. He OFFERED to give us a $250 cash back credit if we allowed him to put a sign in our yard as advertising!
  3. He pointed out several items that really don’t need to be fixed by a professional that we could do ourselves & keep the money for doing so.

All in all, we will receive over $1,500 back to put towards:

  1. Our back fence repairs… that will only cost us $600 because: We are splitting the cost with our neighbor who we discovered is a Veteran and can get a VA discount on the fence materials at Lowe’s or Home Depot… AND we got the labor cost cut way down too by getting other bids – HOW COOL IS THAT?!!!),
  2. The brick repairs next to our garage door (that we discovered will only cost about $200

So basically, we are having over $10,000 worth of home repairs completed within the next two weeks… that we don’t have to pay for, and in fact we’ll be RECEIVING about $600 above and beyond all repairs that will help our cash flow!!!

To wrap up, I just want to point out that each of these tender mercies were a SINGLE IDEA AWAY all this time! All I really needed to do was to doubt not, but to be believing… having faith merely the size of a grain of mustard seed so that I could receive them!

Thank you so much Leslie for all of your AWESOME training materials, programs, and resources! ~ Mike Peters, independent wellness advocate

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Thanks, Mike, for taking the time to share such an awesome story!

Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, THAT’S how it’s done. 😉 To get started transforming your own life, get going with the same resources that Mike used:

Not ready to jump in full throttle? No problem. Get your feet wet today with the basic Mindset Fundamentals Ecourse (includes both books listed above)

Why I no longer have “bad” days

I love learning. I find it exhilarating. Most of my learning over the past few years has been self-improvement oriented, and that has been the most exciting, most empowering learning of all.

I have noticed a pattern, however. I find myself enjoying everything I’ve learned, applying new principles in my life, and feeling really good for a few days. And then I find myself in a slump. I start to feel sluggish, irritated, and short-tempered. I used to be really bothered by those days. I fought them. I tried to deny that they were happening. I was even critical of myself because of them: I was feeling so good, why didn’t it last? What is wrong with me for why I keep slipping back into a struggle?

I realized the other day that it’s the Law of Rhythm. Just like the ebb and flow of the ocean, our lives have rhythm. We see patterns. For everything there is a season, but not always the same season. It is not always summer. Eventually, summer gives way to fall, then winter. But spring comes, and then summer again. We can count on it. Life is the same. We have good days, we have bad days. But like the seasons, the bad days don’t last forever. By law.

I noticed something else about the rhythm of my life. As I have learned about the laws of thought and tried to live by them, my down days look a lot different than they did before. I am gentler with myself. I am kinder to my family. I speak in a softer tone. I am more patient and loving. I have more control over my emotions and reactions. I am recognizing my own progress. The visual image I have for my life is no longer a wavy horizontal line that shows ups and downs extending over time. Now I see a wavy line that is steadily climbing upward. I still experience downs, but they are higher than my downs used to be.

I’ve decided that I will no longer have “bad days.” Instead, I experience “rhythm days.” They may look the same to other people, but there is definitely a difference. I am the difference. Now I know that the challenging days are just that-a brief period of time that has an end and will give way to something better. And the challenges I face today will help to shape my better tomorrow. For every down, there is an up. I can count on it. By law.

Related: Hidden Treasures: Heaven’s Astonishing Help With Your Money Matters

How to Know if You’re Close to The Victory

In my first book I compared the birth to a dream to giving birth to a child. The Law of Gestation helps us understand why it’s good to be patient, and why it’s okay if the success doesn’t always arrive when we want it to. After all, we want the baby and our dreams to arrive fully formed.

(Continued below…)

Read my book free here

This gestation analogy also helps us stay in the right mindset in spite of the ebb and flow of goal achievement. Things go well, and then they stop going well; and then they go well again, back and forth. We think that’s a bad thing, but the Law of Polarity reminds us that there’s good in the hardship, and the Law of Rhythm helps us make sense out of the waves of pain. So does the birthing analogy—it’s like being in labor:

Going into labor is the final stage before the delivery of both a babies and dreams. The conception may have happened long ago, but when true labor kicks in, it’s finally time for the birth. With the onset of labor, at first the discomfort may be just bad enough to get your attention, but it’s tolerable. However, in the final stages, the pain can feel as if you’re at death’s door itself (and for some, it can indeed be fatal). Labor and delivery is serious business.

During the final transition, the surges of difficulty and pain can come so quickly and last so long that it seems there is no longer any relief between contractions whatsoever. When the contractions come back to back like that, it’s nature’s way of saying it’s almost over. Each pain brings progress, although it cannot always be detected, and it sometimes appears fruitless.

So if you conceived of a dream some time ago and it’s been growing, while you’ve been working and preparing to deliver it, and now you’re getting hit by one challenge after another with scarcely room to catch your breath in the middle, you may be poised for a glorious success, as long as you don’t abort now. Focus on the joy of success you hope to feel. Let that hope grow into an expectation. The pain and struggle will not be for nothing.

Don’t give up. Sometimes the relief only comes after you’re at the absolute end of all you can do, or after you’ve cut off all possibility of retreat and there is literally nothing else you can do. If you’re at that point now (and you’ll have to be honest with yourself about that), then all that’s left to do is to give it to God and trust.

Related:  How to Surrender and Why You’d Want To.

A person who has not experienced extreme exertion like this can never experience the corresponding elation and euphoria of the victory that pairs with it. You may be able to experience a taste of it vicariously through books and movies made about people who dream boldly, believe fiercely, overcome tenaciously, and achieve gloriously; but it’s nothing like living and experiencing the full gamut of these emotions for yourself.

Just remember that the feelings come in pairs. If you feel discouraged, encouragement is available to you. If you feel defeated, victory is available for you. If you feel inadequate, then strength, wisdom, and everything else you lack is available to you.

“Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. … Ye are the light of the world. … Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:3-16)

In short, there is no question without an answer, no need without a remedy, no pain without a salve. If you’re only experiencing half of the equation, circle back and ask, “What can I do today to strengthen or improve my relationship with God?” Because…

With God ALL things are possible.

You don’t need to go it alone.

So…

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow –
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup;

And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out –
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit –
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.

(Author Unknown)

It’s your turn. Be the hero in your family. Don’t give up, and show it now by taking another step forward.

What will you do today? Originally published March 29, 2008

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Join me in the Mindset Mastery 12-week program and I’ll help you turn an important corner. Learn more here.

“Is anyone else feeling uncomfortable, aside from elation of course, with their new success? Last night I started to panic that we were actually getting what we wanted… I do get relief from the home study course where Leslie states this is normal… I feel so grateful and ready, just an unexpected nervousness as well…” – Amanda

PS: An affordable online option is now finally available again! Learn more here.

A Little Bit of Wisdom

Stand-alone short stories and brief snippets extracted from the longer Podcast episodes, for quick reminders of the principles and easy sharing.

#3 – Bleach and Blunders – It’s Better to Know

Lesson learned from a mishap in the laundry room. Sometimes we live in violation of the principles without knowing it. It’s better to know!

#2 – Failure is Feedback – Tragedy at the Pool

After my 3 year-old daughter Bethany was discovered face down in our pool, I learned something that helped me see my failures in a whole new light.

#1 – Happy Without It – the House Story

Sometimes you get what you want only after finding peace of mind and happiness without it.

Making the Choice

I was talking to my sweet daughter the other day. She is of an age and a temperament that makes not getting her way an absolutely miserable experience. I was trying to help her through a particularly upsetting disappointment, when she asked me the $64,000 question: “How can I be happy when I’m just NOT?!”

Admittedly, I have been struggling with the same question—I, who have studied and taught principles that lead to happiness! So when I found myself answering her question, I knew the answer was a gift from my Heavenly Father, an answer that was as much for me as it was for her.

The answer consisted of three choices:

  1. Choose to be happy;
  2. Choose to be flexible;
  3. Choose to be grateful.

First, there is power in making a choice. The opportunity and ability to be happy is always present, but it requires that we make a choice to lay hold upon those gifts. Making that choice literally bestows upon you the power to think differently, the power to initiate change in your attitude first, and then in your circumstances. YOU are the agent of change in your life, and change of any kind begins with a CHOICE.

Choosing to be happy in the face of disappointing circumstances can be difficult. It requires that you view life and happiness from a long-term perspective. For instance, will this particular circumstance alter your happiness five or ten years from now? It could, if you choose to become bitter about the disappointment, but what if you get your way? Will having things go as you desire them to make you happier in the future? Sometimes this is a difficult question to answer. But learning to see things from a long-term perspective, learning to believe in the possibility of happiness even if we don’t get our way now is a skill, one that can be learned, practiced, and developed.

Choosing to be flexible is a partner to choosing to be happy. Sometimes happiness requires flexibility. Life is full of surprises. If we determine that our happiness is dependent upon a particular outcome, with all the possible variables, we can be setting ourselves up for failure. Choosing to be happy is
incomplete without its companion—flexibility.

Most important is gratitude. Recognizing the fact that there is much to be grateful for in spite of disappointing circumstances is the key that makes happiness and flexibility possible. Gratitude changes our perspective. Gratitude opens our eyes to the reality of the blessings and abundance all around us, even if we previously only saw lack. Whenever disappointment or depression sets in, start with gratitude. It will turn everything around.

My daughter, true to her age and temperament, dismissed these ideas, telling me that she had heard that the opposite was true. Her teacher had told her of a boy who was assigned to write about his future life. He was required to re-write and revise it until it became very detailed. When he grew up, he discovered that every detail in that assignment was fulfilled in his life. How can you be flexible when you’re supposed to be specific?

It was a question I had asked myself. If the achievement of a goal requires such specificity that you can see it and feel it before it happens, where does flexibility come in? Again, the answer came to me as a gift. I asked her if she had ever been driving, and had to take a detour. Detours come when, for some reason, the route we are traveling cannot get us safely to our destination. In spite of how inconvenient they sometimes seem, they are intended to get us safely to our destination when our originally planned route will not. How effective would it be to reach a detour sign and, rather than follow it, throw a tantrum about not being able to use the route you had planned? Sometimes the detours take longer than we had planned. But if we keep following them, trusting in the fact that they are helping us get to where we want to go, we will eventually arrive. Without flexibility, however, we would find ourselves stuck at a roadblock with no hope of getting to our desired destination.

I have had the experience in the past year of not achieving many of my goals. It has been discouraging to see what I want, and then have everything NOT turn out. But what I have realized is that the goals that I didn’t achieve were goals that were the means to my end—my preferred route, so to speak, to get my ultimate goal of life fulfillment and happiness. I haven’t failed because I haven’t achieved, rather, the experiences of this year have helped me to identify and clarify what I want most, and helped me to see that sometimes not getting what I want now is really helping me to get what I want later. Originally published February 9, 2013